Sunday, November 14, 2010
Single Parenting When God Speaks, Sixteen Nuggets of Inspiration
Recently a friend shared with me her daughter was in the processing of adopting two children. The little girls had been abused in their family of origin and the legal case was slowly making its way through the court system. As I reread her email, I prayed that God would answer every prayer my friend’s daughter sent up, just as He had answered mine.
Then the thought occurred to me: What would I say to a young mother-to-be whom God has called to “walk in my shoes”? I know each person’s situation is a little different, but similar in that a woman feels God is leading her to single parent an orphan, an abused child, or a child who might never feel loved. What wisdom would I impart after having been at this noble but difficult task for sixteen years?
I pulled out my keyboard and a plethora of thoughts gushed forth. May my words encourage you if you are chosen by God to save an orphan—whether you are married or unmarried, but particularly if you are single. With God, all impossible things are possible. Without Him, we walk alone.
1. Single parenting is the hardest thing you will ever do, but the most wonderful thing you will ever do.
2. I would never recommend a single woman adopt. It's too hard. I would never recommend a single woman not adopt. The blessings are too great. I would let God tell you what He wants you to do. If God calls you to adopt, never back down, give up, despair, or listen to those who tell you differently. If God is in it, there is nothing that will prevent you from being a mother to a child. God has a plan and a purpose. He does things His way, not ours. Trust in God. He will direct you.
3. You will never know what tired is until you have single-parented two kids on your own (or even one).
4. God is your husband, and the perfect husband.
5. You will come to understand how much God loves you by adopting a child who has no future and no hope, for that is how we are without Jesus.
6. You will share the heart of God; His hands, His hope, and His "all" with your children. They will know God through your sacrificial love.
7. You will love more than you ever thought you could; and you will fail miserably. But your children won't mind. In fact, they will love you anyway. Acknowledge your mistakes and move on. God can be glorified in your shortcomings. He loves your children more than you do.
8. God will not abandon you. He will meet every need you have more abundantly than you could ever imagine.
9. The day you sign the adoption papers will be the best day of your life. God has given you a great gift—a chance to share His love with an orphan. That is the essence of our faith.
10. “Mommy” is the most beautiful word in the English language.
11. Enjoy every moment of the journey. Your children will grow up too fast—in the blink of an eye. The years will wiz by, and you will wonder, where did the time go?
12. Make the most of every opportunity to love, teach, laugh, cry, and even be silly. Be a mother to the fullest. Give it your all. Go to bed exhausted. It's the best kind of tiredness you will ever feel.
13. Have a latte every once and a while, and read your Bible whenever you can.
14. Pray hard. God is always with you. Know this is your calling and your life's work. Your children are precious gifts from the Hands of the Creator. They are beautifully designed in His image with a future and a hope because of your love freely given in His name.
15. Love your children unconditionally. Be flexible. Learn to say "I'm sorry." It does wonders to restore the hurting soul.
16. Enjoy the journey and have a blast. There is nothing else like it short of heaven!