You Aren’t
in Kansas Anymore
A Christian Satire
on the Deplorable State of Affairs
August
27, 2021
My Dear
American Patriot,
I know you’re
perplexed about the deplorable state of affairs and what in the world is
happening. I want to reassure you, my friend, you are not in Kansas anymore.
You will never go back to Kansas. Why would you want to go back to that
cesspool when Trump was president, when America was energy independent, when
the economy was thriving, when no one even knew what Critical Race Theory was,
and before the rigged election? After all, we know Biden is our Commander in
Chief. As they said, “Nothing here, move on.”
Aren’t
you glad nobody has been able to check those Dominion machines? I wouldn’t
allow it—they are under my dominion. We needed everything in place for The New
World Order. It will be even better than the famous novel Brave New World. By the way, I helped Aldous Huxley to write that book.
He wrote it exactly as I instructed him, and look how famous he is.
Population
reduction has been going quite well. The blood of the babies offered to Molech gives
me substantial supernatural power. Your utmost care is extremely important, my little
messengers. Keep supporting me at the abortion clinics. I will repay you in
kind on judgment day. Isn’t it nice to be on the winning side? We’ve made
tremendous progress since we got rid of Number 45.
Now to
more important things: Don’t let the troop withdrawal from Afghanistan concern
you. The news media is lying to you about all those casualties. You know how
they lie about everything. They rarely get anything correct, and this is their
biggest blunder yet. Just keep your eyes on me; don’t look up. I control the
powers that be in Washington. You need not concern yourself with matters so
high and lofty.
Don’t
believe that things are getting better? Think about all the free money you’ve
received since my cat’s paw landed in the office of the presidency. Many of you
haven’t had to pay rent in months. Ah! An extended vacation. You say, ”Keep this gravy train going.” I say, “Let the government take care of you. You
deserve it. Let’s make America great again. After all, the mantra is ‘land of
the free.’ That should include free housing, free health insurance, and free
food.”
But back
to the current state of affairs. I know
many of you have been dismayed about forced vaccinations at your job and
vaccine passports, the harbinger of war in the Middle East, and the terrible
plight of illegal, dangerous people crossing the border into the country.
However,
this is all necessary to discourage believers. We want them to join us. We must
reeducate them about what’s really happening. We need to convince the recalcitrant
that borders are evil. In due time, they will come around. Once they realize
nobody is listening, they will shut up. Christians are like sheep. Eventually,
they do what they are told. That’s what Christians do.
Rest assured,
we are gaining in strength, and we are growing in numbers. The stage is set for
me to send my world leader on the scene, a man of fortresses, who will bring
world peace. Once we kill off a significant portion of the population through
every means at our fingertips, we will be able to rebuild and make the world a
better place.
In the
meantime, we need to destroy the U.S. Constitution. That document has caused
more damage to the blacks, Latinos, and LGBTQ community than any other document
in the history of humankind. The next presidential election should seal
that deal. I thank my minions who put those secure voting machines in strategic
locations. I expect to have complete dominion over all the countries that are
members of the United Nations after the next U.S. presidential election. My chosen
leader is already here setting up a one-world government. It’s my craftiness,
my cunning, and my persuasion through deception that’s allowed the pieces to
fall into place.
We must
keep up the pressure on climate change. Population control will go a long way
toward reducing carbon emissions, and we must reduce beef consumption. Cows produce
too much flatulence and are a significant producer of the worst kind of
pollution. Just get rid of the cows, which will take care of four percent of
the greenhouse gases worldwide.
For this
news cycle from my lofty position above the earth, here are my recommendations:
1.
Make
sure you receive the Covid shot. In fact, make sure you receive all the booster
shots that will soon follow. They are for your good. Fear is a good motivator.
Keep scaring those who are resistant into compliance.
2.
Follow
all the guidelines from the CDC, NIH, and WHO. You know they have your best
interest at heart. You know they wouldn’t recommend a vaccine that hadn’t undergone
the rigors of proper testing. They would never compromise, would they? After
all, they have no liability if someone dies from Covid, and if they have a
financial interest, it’s not important. Nobody would care. We don’t have to tell
the public about any of the adverse effects from the shot—that might scare
people, and then they wouldn’t get the jab. Mind control is good. We don’t want
to upset the masses. Why disappoint them? Tell them what they want to hear. If
you say it enough times, they will believe you. Everyone hates bad news. Just
give them the good news—the shot works. That’s all you have to say.
3.
Make
sure you wear your mask. You wouldn’t want to infect your loved ones, would
you? After all, the death rate is as high as 1% in people who are too old to be
useful citizens. Again, just do the right thing. Wear your mask. Make your
children wear a mask. You want them to be good, compliant citizens just like
you when they grow up. You want to teach them to obey every law passed by Big
Brother because that’s what good citizens do. Be a good role model; never
question anything—that’s bad. Always trust the government. You know they care deeply about you and your family. Trust them with all your heart and lean not on
your own understanding.
4.
Make
sure you keep an eye on your neighbor, colleague, spouse, and cohort. We need
to make sure everyone does what’s best for the country. If someone does not
follow instructions, you need to report them to the authorities. We need to
cancel those who distort the truth. If someone doesn’t comply, we may need to
take bolder measures, like implementing a social scorecard. I can vouch for the fact
they have been very effective in China to force people into compliance. I’ll
share more about that later.
Remember, Big Brother is watching you. Be ready to embrace the new reality that is under construction even as we speak. You aren’t in Kansas anymore.
Signed
by
Prince of the Air,
Lord
Lucifer
📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘📘
Seventh Dimension Series - Christian Fantasy by Lorilyn Roberts
The Seventh Dimension Series Full Box Set includes The Door, The King, The Castle, The City, The Prescience, and The Howling. The Seventh Dimension Series has won over thirty book awards.
“Time is an illusion until God’s appointed time,” is the major theme based on A.W. Tozer’s quote in The Pursuit of God: “A spiritual kingdom lies all about us, enclosing us, embracing us, altogether within reach of our inner selves, waiting for us to recognize it. God Himself is here waiting our response to His Presence. This eternal world will come alive to us the moment we begin to reckon upon its reality.”
The two young protagonists, Shale Snyder, an American, and Daniel Sperling, an Israeli, meet in the seventh dimension—a reality outside of time. Their love for each other is conflicted over their opposing spiritual beliefs that seem irreconcilable.
The story covers many years as the young couple matures. The sixth book, The Howling, culminates with Biblical revelations concerning the future, Daniel’s missing father, and a startling surprise.
Allegory, foreshadowing, and symbolism are woven into the Seventh Dimension Series, and the heroism of the two protagonists is meant to inspire the reader.Love and forgiveness are virtues that both protagonists must learn. The Seventh Dimension Series begins in Atlanta, Georgia, but quickly moves to Israel. The reader soon finds himself immersed in the first century, and stories from the life of Jesus Christ intersect the story plot outside of time. As the reader progresses through the books, he is exposed to many religions and worldviews, including Judaism, Hinduism, Islam, and Buddhism; and the young couple makes a memorable trip to heaven and hell.
Many relevant topics are addressed that young adults will have explored in school, among friends, or been exposed to through the media—evolution versus creationism, globalism versus nationalism, socialism versus capitalism, adoption versus abortion, and Christianity versus occultism. Spiritual warfare is a recurring theme, and there are talking animals, special gifts, and much more that I will let the reader discover for himself.
The protagonists are coming-of-age young adults, taken via supernatural stargates into the violent, unpredictable world of the seventh dimension. While I wrote this series for young adults, all readers will enjoy deeper, profound truths that can only be learned from a life well-lived.
An unexamined life can squander the opportunity to be redeemed. What a waste. My goal is to make the reader think, ask questions, and consider the most important question of all—where will he spend eternity? As noted above, the theme of the Seventh Dimension Series is: “Time is an illusion until God’s appointed time.” You may not have tomorrow. You only have today, this hour, this moment, this second…
