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CONFESSIONS OF A CHRISTIAN HOMESCHOOLING MOM: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

Reposted by Reader Request

Confessions of a Christian Homeschooling Mom

Leaves floating in the pool always signal the end of summer for me and the beginning of autumn. With fall comes my assignment of homeschooling Joy. 

While some days it’s a pleasure and other days a chore, I recently thought about curriculum in an unusual way. It reminded me of something funny years ago when I homeschooled Manisha.

In the fourth grade, she was given an assignment to set up a study schedule for the week—what subjects and how much time she should devote to each one. I chuckle as I remember her daily homeschooling curriculum:  Reading, five minutes; English, five minutes; science, five minutes; history, three minutes; math, thirty seconds; lunch, one hour; and recess, the rest of the day. While that may have seemed like a great curriculum to Manisha at ten, I would hate to imagine where she would be today in her second year of college if I had allowed her to “go her own way.”

homeschooling convention

Last spring over Memorial Day weekend, Joy and I went to the Florida Homeschooling Convention in Orlando. It was a time of refreshment as I reflected on what we had accomplished over the past year and what I hoped to do for this next year. Upon arriving Joy and I quickly ate and hurried down to the exhibit hall, where I spent hours pouring over the books, curriculum, games, and “ideas” on display. 

Most of the vendors return every year and there are always new ones to check out. This annual tradition encourages me to keep on keeping on for another year until God shows me it’s time to enroll Joy in a traditional school. We just take homeschooling one year at a time.

Each year I assess Joy’s strengths and weaknesses and which curriculum (or non-curriculum) would work best for the following year. I have not used with Joy the same materials that I used for Manisha. Each of my daughters is unique, and as a homeschooling mom, it’s been a joy to tailor the curriculum to meet each of their specific needs. I have to admit, that I have made mistakes. A couple of times I tried math programs which caused far too many tears. It required the unexpected expense and time of switching to something else. But I have never doubted God’s calling to homeschool, even as a single parent. I have been brought to my knees at times by the sheer burden and feeling of inadequacy. I could not do it without the Lord’s help.

science experiment

But my heart’s desire to give my daughters the best that I can goes a long way in God’s provision. He makes up for what I lack. As I recall what Manisha wanted for a curriculum many years ago, in my finite wisdom, of course, I knew one minute of math a day would not prepare her for Algebra, and twenty-five minutes of English a week would not be sufficient to write a ten-page term paper on International Relations as a sophomore in college. We can chuckle at the absurdity, laughing because we know ourselves. Are we really any different?

art

In the broader context of life, reflecting on God’s great plan for each of us, do I know what His perfect curriculum is for me?  Do I know what I need in His economy to become the person He created me to be? If God way back at the beginning of time had asked me to design my own curriculum, what would I have asked for? The human side of me would have said, “God, how about a little place on the beach with a pool, lots of books, and a Starbucks latte twice a day. I don’t want to cook, wash clothes, worry about car repairs, computers that crash, or anyone I love getting sick. In fact, give me a life where I never have to worry about anything.”

I know it’s not very “spiritual,” but if the truth is told, I don’t think anyone would ask for heartache. After all, we don’t have the mind of God. Our little thoughts are not like His. We long selfishly for a fulfilling life, to have our needs met, and to be accepted by others. The Bible is full of all the perils that accompany that mindset, beginning with Adam and Eve.

Atlanta Aquarium, Field Trip

One of the courses in my life curriculum (which I never would have asked for) was working for twenty years as a court reporter. I never liked court reporting—the adversarial nature of it, the long, unpredictable hours, the fact that most of what I wrote was meaningless in God’s great scheme (who cares that someone found a cricket in a can of beans). Plus it was something I never wanted to do but circumstances willed it.

Sometimes life takes away our freedom to choose. Things happen. In those moments of doubting God’s best for us, we should cast our eyes on Jesus, who did the will of His Father and not His own. I “begrudged” those years until very recently, feeling like much of my working life was wasted. How many books could I have written during that time?  I can’t say I was filled with discontent, but certainly, upon occasion, I have questioned, why didn’t God allow me to pursue writing at a much younger age?  Why did “this” have to happen?  You can fill in the blank with your own “this” and ask your own “why.” I have said to myself more than once, things would have been so much better if I had chosen “this” but couldn’t.

Horse Show Field Trip

What better choices could there be than what my heavenly Father chose for me?  Do I not trust Him completely? Does He not know the best curriculum to mold me into His image?  Cannot my sorrows and loss be counted as gain for the kingdom of heaven? 

Jesus tells us in John 15:7, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.” Jesus gave this command to His disciples on the eve of His crucifixion. Little did His followers know what was about to happen. But Jesus knew if His words “abided” within their hearts, it would be sufficient to bring them through the dark days that lay ahead.

Kayaking Adventure with Homeschooling Friends at Cedar Key, Florida

God has given us everything we need to equip us for His heavenly kingdom. Our curriculum has been chosen by the King of the universe. He molded each one of us from clay. He breathed life into us. He gifts us with talents and blesses us with hope and so much more than we deserve. He loved us so much He sent His only Son to die for us. No doubt His curriculum is vastly different from and better for my soul than anything I could possibly envision.

When I took my novel course in my Master's studies, I learned that one of the greatest novelists of all time, Charles Dickens, began his career as a court reporter. So I am in great company. Who knows how God will use those years down the road. After all, He is THE great designer, craftsman, artist, and author.

Missions Trip to Nepal.
Joy took picture of me reading to children

God knows exactly what curriculum we all need to complete a doctorate in life and graduate Summa Cum Laude. And for each one of us, God lovingly designs the classes. I think a doctorate would fittingly describe the many difficult courses we must take to become everything He longs for us to be. And it will probably require—at least for me—more than thirty seconds of suffering, two minutes of patience, five minutes of sacrifice, and five minutes of prayer.

If we can cease our striving, our complaining, and slow down, God might just exempt us from a life class we would rather not take. “Godliness with contentment is great gain,” according to I Timothy 6:6; and that Starbucks latte, well, I do enjoy one upon occasion. Now, by God’s grace, I just need a teaspoon of patience and a tablespoon of love to enjoy another successful year of homeschooling.  

As an addendum, I actually wrote this article a few years ago, but recently, someone asked me to repost it as it was no longer available on the web. Manisha, my oldest one (on the right in the picture) graduated with honors from St. Leo University with a bachelor's in psychology. She now has a professional position in the movie industry and is on her own now (I miss her terribly), and Joy has an A.A. degree from  Santa Fe State College. She is still trying to figure out what she wants to do long-term.

Looking back at those ten-plus years homeschooling, I wish I had done one thing more: I wish I had smelled more flowers. Enjoy homeschooling; the days pass all too quickly. Take that trip to the ice cream store. Enjoy that movie. Cook more meals. Spill more coffee. And don't forget to laugh until you cry. Believe me, God is in the details, and He won't disappoint you. You will succeed if you give your best to Him!

HOMESCHOOOLING: “Public High School after Homeschooling – How Hard Is It To Make the Transition?” by Lorilyn Roberts

Mission Trip to Nepal, Joy, October 2014

My daughter, Joy, is finishing her junior year of high school. Yes—just one more year and I’ll be done. I laugh because, as parents, we know we are never done. We just accompany our daughter to the next fork in the road—college, or some sort of vocational training where she can learn a skill that will help her to—well, pay bills.

While I can’t say it’s been an easy transition from homeschooling to public high school, it was the right decision for my family.

To give a bit of background, my oldest daughter is twenty-four and my youngest, Joy, is sixteen. I adopted both of them from Asia as a single mother by choice. My oldest one arrived from Nepal when she was three and I adopted Joy from Vietnam when she was fourteen months. I homeschooled my oldest one from third grade all the way through two years of high school when she then enrolled at a community college as a high school junior. She graduated from college with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and now has a well-paying job in a related field.

I homeschooled Joy beginning with kindergarten. At the end of that year, she scored in the top ten percent of all kindergarteners around the country, but she was a reluctant learner—at least when it came to me being her teacher. She loved me as a mom but not as her favorite teacher. After one year, I didn’t have the emotional energy to continue homeschooling her, so I put her in private school for three years.

2005 art, Joy's favorite subject

By the end of the third grade, she was testing at the fiftieth percentile and I was $15,000 poorer. Joy was a gifted learner and had been at the top of the charts after I homeschooled her in kindergarten. I pulled her out of private school and homeschooled her from fourth grade through ninth grade, although the eighth and ninth grades were a homeschool-private school combination. In other words, she was homeschooled two days a week and in private school three days a week.

When Joy entered the tenth grade, I enrolled her in a large public high school with over 2,000 students—quite a change from homeschooling. Even at the private school, she went to three days a week, she only had about ten kids in her classes.

I experienced much trepidation putting Joy into public high school. I thought about all the things she would encounter. I worried about the students she would meet, if she could make friends, if she would be able to succeed, and if the change would be overwhelming. She had never been in public school and I agonized over it her entire ninth-grade year before finally making the decision to enroll her in public high school.

To be transparent, I never felt as if I was that successful homeschooling Joy, at least not like I was with my oldest one. While both of them scored in the top seventieth percentile or higher every year, Joy didn’t like being homeschooled. She didn’t want to do the work for me, and I didn’t have the time to supervise her, as I needed to, especially when she hit middle school.

God showed me she needed to be accountable to someone else. I was too soft. I valued our relationship more than constantly fighting over unfinished work or the occasional issue of “cheating.”

When we went to the homeschool-private school environment, even though teachers expected more, they were also too lax. It was a Christian school, and while I appreciated the Christian influence and grace, I knew it wasn’t what Joy needed. She needed to learn the importance of accountability—the real world is tough. In public high school, teachers expect your assignments to be turned in on time. If you don’t do them, they don't listen to your excuses. In college, you need to study hard even if you don’t attend a class every day. As an adult, your boss expects you to do your job. One season of life builds upon another.

If you get the picture I am painting, you can imagine what that first semester was like when Joy entered tenth grade. On the positive side, she immediately made good choices in friends. I am thankful for God’s protection in that area. She stuck to the straight and narrow path and navigated through the social waters unscathed. I pray that will continue through her senior year.

As an aside, Joy was a competitive gymnast for over ten years and switched to competitive cheer when she entered eleventh grade—so she was busy. In her first year in public high school, she did not participate in a sport. I wanted her to focus on getting good grades

Joy’s grades that first semester were—well, not good. I will spare you the details, but the only “A’s” she received were in P.E. and art.

As painful as this was to me, my philosophy was this: Sometimes kids need to fail before they realize they want to succeed. Most kids, if given the choice, would rather succeed than fail. As parents, we need to make sure they have the choice. We don’t want to set them up for failure, but neither should we ensure success if they haven’t earned it.

Kids and teens need to learn the value of hard work Once Joy failed a class, she realized that failure was an option, and it wasn’t an option she wanted. She didn’t like it. That first year in public high school was hard—but she never complained and I never made excuses for her.

Eleventh grade has been much better. She is making A’s and B’s in all her classes, even taking AP classes, and doing well. She has learned how to study. Sometimes we have to make the tough choices we don’t want to make to teach our children life lessons they won't learn any other way. In Joy’s case, public school was the best choice.

Joy in her cheerleading outfit with a good friend

Our public high school isn’t perfect, but I know Joy is receiving an excellent education. I did insist she be enrolled in honors, pre-AP or AP classes. I wouldn’t allow her to be placed in classes with students who didn’t want to learn. As a parent, you have more input than you might realize on what classes your child takes. You know what is best for your child, particularly if you have been a homeschooling parent.

I also insisted that Joy take electives she would enjoy. She took art in tenth grade, photography this year, and will take pottery her senior year. High school is one of the last opportunities to indulge in cultured learning. The arts in my opinion are underrated. If you look at the richest civilizations in history, their culture has touched our society—what nation would we be if it were not for the amazing influence of Egypt, Greece, and Rome on our language, music, and arts? In college, classes tend to focus on career goals, unless you major in art, and most parents prefer educational pursuits that will ensure a well-paying job when their child graduates.

If you are debating whether to put your child in public school after homeschooling, particularly high school, ask yourself these questions: Do I trust that my child can make wise choices? Can my child handle peer pressure and bullying? Can my child deal with alternative lifestyles and kids who embrace different values? Will my child hold on to the morals I have spent years instilling in her, and can she shoulder the responsibility that comes with being in public school? Is my child able to make friends? Is she insecure or confident in her abilities?

If you feel like your teen can navigate the social waters of public high school, then I would ask, can my child receive a better education in public high school than if I homeschool her?

This is a tough question, but it’s an important one. High school is the stepping stone to college. If your child does not master the core subjects in high school, college will be difficult. Knowing Joy’s poor study habits, I knew she would not succeed in college unless someone toughened her up, and I knew it wouldn’t be me.

If your child is doing well homeschooled, working hard, and making good grades, I wouldn’t pull her out to enroll her in public high school. If something is working, don’t fix it. Many teens, including my first one, are able to go from homeschooling directly into college. It can be done and many homeschooling students do it successfully every year.

11th grade Joy's art, anatomy

Assess your child’s strengths and weaknesses. Ask your teen what he or she wants to do. A happy teen is easier to live with than a discontented teen. If you discover after a couple of months, public high school isn’t working or vice versa, it doesn’t mean you failed. You simply make the adjustment. Life goes on. In the end, it will be only a small blip in the educational journey of your child.

I used to say, “The worst day homeschooling is better than the best day in public school.” Mostly I remember the good days and there were many of them. One year may be great and the next, not so much. Life happens. Children change as they mature, and despite other things that may become a distraction, parents need to continue to provide an environment conducive to learning at home. It’s good to reassess each year where you stand on these important issues.

As a Christian, I found myself in bed many nights, exhausted, asking God for wisdom and guidance. Homeschooling was one of the hardest things I ever did but also one of the most rewarding, but there came a time when God clearly said to me, “It’s time to let go. Joy needs to go to public school so she can learn things you can’t teach her. You can trust me.”

If you would like more information, I would encourage you to check out Kids in the House. I homeschooled before the invention of the internet and sites like this one would have been very helpful when I was seeking answers to these difficult questions. Read and learn as much as you can, whether you are new to homeschooling or a seasoned homeschooling family. When it comes to high school, check out all of your options and ask God for wisdom. He will guide you to make the right decision for you and your family.

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JOHN 3:16 MARKETING NETWORK GUEST POST: Lorilyn Interviews Tom Blubaugh About His New Book, “Night of the Cossack”

I (Lorilyn Roberts) met Tom through the John 3:16 Marketing Network, and discovered a most unusual way to be prompted to write a book.  Enjoy this short interview and learn what (or who) a Cossack is.

Lorilyn:  What are your thoughts on self-publishing versus traditional publishing?

Tom:  I have self-published a book, but it was many years ago and was for use in my ministry, but not publically marketed. The Night of the Cossack was traditionally published by Bound by Faith Publishing, a new, small independent. I'm treating Night of the Cossack as a self-published novel. I thought I had a pretty good platform established but found out I was kidding myself. One has only so many friends and family members. Even with Facebook and Twitter, it has been a real challenge.

I will be talking to book clubs and writing groups about the tremendous importance of establishing a strong, deep platform well before a book is published. In my opinion, a well-developed platform is necessary regardless of the publisher, large or small, new or well-established, independent or not. The market has changed with the fast-developing ebook distribution, the economy, and the problems in the publishing arena. The only difference seems to be who finances the publication.

Lorilyn:  What have you found to be most effective in marketing your newest book?

Tom:  There isn't just one particular thing. It takes a lot of activities working together, interviews, Facebook, Twitter, book signings, talking to book clubs, writer groups, creative writing classes, press releases, websites, and the support of other authors.

Lorilyn:  Can you tell us a little bit about your book Night of the Cossack?

Tom:  Both of my grandfathers died before I was born. I had a big hole in my life that most of my friends didn't have. As I got older I felt a longing to have a grandfather so I took what little information I had about my mother's father and started writing a story--actually creating a grandfather for myself.

As the story developed I found myself writing it for my children and grandchildren. An author I met online thought it was worth pursuing publication. I joined a local critique group and they agreed. It wasn't until then that I realized I was actually writing a novel. Even the publisher came to me. It has been a phenomenal journey and I still have a ways to go to get it into the hands of readers. I've heard from readers 12 to 86 who have enjoyed my book.

Lorilyn:  As a homeschooling parent, is this a book my daughter would enjoy as well as learn a little bit about history? What is the historical setting of your book?

Tom:  This is an excellent book for a homeschooling parent. The story takes place in Russia, Ukraine, Romania, Italy, and France in the early 1900s. There is fear, separation, adjustment, relationship issues, violence, love, faith, and lots of decisions in the adventure. All of these are talking points for healthy conversations between parent/child and teacher/student regarding real-life and moral decisions. I have considered writing a workbook, but haven't had the time.

Lorilyn:  What is a Cossack?

Tom:  Cossacks were members of any of several groups of peasants, chiefly of Russian and Polish descent, that lived in autonomous communal settlements, especially in Ukraine, until the early 20th century. In return for special privileges, they served in the cavalry under the czars. They were well known for their horsemanship. They raided villages for supplies, women and young men to increase or replenish their ranks. Eventually, they became a part of the Russian army.

                                                        

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Tom Blubaugh is a freelance writer living in Southwest Missouri with Barbara, his wife. They have six children and fourteen grandchildren. Tom has written non-fiction most of his adult life but has recently written a historical fiction titled Night of the Cossack, published by Bound by Faith Publishers.

This is Tom’s first novel. He co-wrote a devotional journal in 2009 for Barbour Publishing titled The Great Adventure. His other writings include articles for a denominational magazine and an insurance publication. He also self-published Behind the Scenes of the Bus Ministry in 1974.

Tom started writing poetry at the age of fourteen. His vision of turning them into lyrics for rock and roll songs for popular artists didn’t develop. He considers writing to be a God-given talent and feels led to develop it. His first novel was published at the age of 69. Tom says it’s never too late. He is now writing a sequel.

Tom spent twelve years as an insurance agent and eleven years as a financial planner. He is the past president of Jericho Commission, Inc., and still serves on the board of directors.


Kindle and print versions are available at Amazon by clicking here.