Que Sera, Sera, What Will Be,
Will Be
by Lorilyn Roberts
Even
though I don’t know my future, I will sleep well tonight. If I were a betting
woman in my dreams, I’d make two predictions—I will not win a million dollars in
the lottery—I don’t play, and I will never be President—thank goodness. You
couldn’t pay me enough for that job. My older daughter used to tell me I’d make
an excellent President—back before I became dumb during the teenage years.
Fortunately, I have become smart again, since she turned twenty-one.
Now
I get to go through being dumb all over again. My second daughter is at that
age when boys flirt and cars excite. I worry once more—and remind myself God hears
my heart-felt prayers. Maybe I’m a little wiser—certainly a little older. At
least I know what to expect the second time around. I have to admit, I look forward
to the day I become smart once again, unless dementia sets in. We won’t talk
about that.
When
I was nine, one of my favorite songs was Que
Sera, Sera; Whatever Will Be Will Be. My dreams for the future did not
include infertility, infidelity, and all the injustices that come from living
in a fallen world. When we are young, we are closer to God—before innocence is
torn from us by sin. Kids easily believe in miracles or magic—call it what you
want. No wonder when we are old, we must become like little children. Are we
redeemed enough to see our Savior through the darkened glass of shattered dreams?
A child sees the glory of a risen king—and asks no questions.
In
retrospect, I am thankful God did not give me most of the things I wanted. He
gave me what I needed. God’s gifts don’t always come wrapped in pretty boxes. They
arrive in more mysterious ways. Sometimes it takes time to see His workings, and
for somebody like me who is impatient, that is tough.
It
would have been much easier to go to a store and pick up a book that read, How to Get Your Life Straightened Out, or
How to Fix Your Broken Marriage, or How To Be Dumb During the Teenage Years. Just kidding. I didn’t need a prompt for
that. I could read the book in a weekend, and bravo, come Monday morning, I’d have
my life all straightened out. That would be so efficient. So like me.
God
knew better. He knew I needed time—only time would grow me into the Christian
woman He desired me to be. Only through the years where wisdom seeds itself would
understanding be revealed—to write the passion of my soul and feel God’s spirit
through my words. God knew above all my heart and how I longed for children. Only
He knew how to make that a reality (Lord knows, I tried).
Isaiah
55:8 says, “For my thoughts are not your
thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares
the LORD. Someday I hope to fully understand what that means. It’s one
of those “mysteries” that God will need to explain to me—if I still wonder after
I see His scarred hands and feet.
When I was married and shortly before my
husband left for good, I read this passage and implored of God, “Oh, please,
let not your ways include divorce. I don’t want a divorce.” I became paranoid. I
trusted a husband who had been unfaithful more than I trusted my heavenly
Father who died for me. I feared the ridicule of my family and church, the
whispers, and that the ugly wounds from childhood would bite me once again. Was
I not even good enough to keep a husband?
Now
I chuckle. On any given day, I may not be good enough for the most mundane task.
I have learned to laugh at myself—even when I am the only one laughing. My daughters
will tell you.
I
remember that the time is fleeting, the pain temporary, and the future
extraordinary. So I peck away at the typewriter, certain that I won’t go to
jail for not filing my taxes—I just finished them today, and am glad to live another
day. Why? So I can get out of bed in the morning, go to work, and pay more
taxes.
I
will remember to feed the dogs in the evening (or they will yelp), set the air
conditioner to 77 when I go to bed (or I will sweat), and will fill up the car
with gas—usually it’s on empty. That makes life exciting. I won’t speed down 39th
Avenue where that female police officer lurks behind a sign (I would know), and
I will get my half and half at Publix so my coffee will taste almost as good as
Starbucks. I am still working hard to kick that habit.
If
your life is like mine, most of it boils down to the mundane, the ridiculous,
or the absurd. Without my Lord and Savior to remind me that this is “my
passion,” I think I’d go insane. God’s voice inside me removes the edge, lowers
my blood pressure, and convicts me of what’s important. He helps me to remember
to pray for those who are hurting, and I delight myself in His Word—and wonder
why I fail to read the Bible more often. Or curl up on the sofa with my Kindle
and get lost in one of the books begging to be read—and write reviews for authors
who wait with baited breath. I would know that, too.
I’d
fail to find goodness in the land of the living without my relationship with
Jesus Christ. His Spirit brings me hope—for my daughters to marry Christian men
and have a dozen kids; for my future—to live into my 90’s like my grandparents;
and forgiveness for my past sins—even the ones I don’t remember.
God
gives me the drive to live life to the fullest—work hard, play hard, and not to
sweat the small stuff. The small stuff is what trips me up, but I remind myself
I will never run out of stories. I just need to be careful I don’t trip over my
seven-pound cat. Even our Border collie knows better.
Regrets—don’t
play that game. You will never catch a glimpse of the marvelous future held in
store for you if you keep looking back. Even though the future is not ours to
see—we see through a glass darkly for a little while longer—thankfully, we have
an awesome God who sees clearly—in colors we can’t imagine. And I bet even
wrinkles, gray hair, and fat bellies look grand. Que sera, sera; whatever will
be, will be.
****
Lorilyn Roberts is a Christian author who writes children's picture books, adult nonfiction, memoirs, and a young adult Christian fantasy series, Seventh Dimension. The first in the series, The Door, was just published.
Lorilyn graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Alabama, which included international study in Israel and England. She received her Masters in Creative Writing from Perelandra College and is a graduate of the Institute of Children's Literature.
Lorilyn is the founder of the John 316 Marketing Network, a network of Christian authors who are passionate about promoting books with a Christian worldview. Visit Lorilyn's website at LorilynRoberts.com to learn more about her books.
