No temptation has overtaken you but such as
is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted
beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of
escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
—I Corinthians 10:13
How far is
too far when it comes to relationships between young men and women? What does
the Bible say about purity?
*~*~*~*~*~*
From
Seventh Dimension – The Door, a Young
Adult Christian Fantasy:
“Word
is out about you. I’d hate to see your splattered body sprawled out on the
road. It would destroy your father’s reputation; cost him his job, and my inheritance—unless
Judd gets it first. If I have my way that won’t happen. I need to protect you.
From now on, you’ll stay where I can see you.”
“Judd
gets what?”
She
didn’t answer me.
I
had no idea what she was talking about. So Judd convinced her I was a tramp
though Daniel had never once been alone with me. Even in the cave, he always
insisted the door be open—probably why Judd overheard too much.
—Shale
Snyder and Scylla, chapter twenty
*~*~*~*~*~*
In Seventh
Dimension – the Door, Shale was falsely accused. The fact that she had
never been alone with Daniel made her statement she had done nothing wrong more
credible.
The
most precious gift you can give your future husband or wife on your wedding day
is your virginity.
If
you are a young lady, make that gift even more special by not allowing yourself
to be touched by a man—not even kissed—before you marry him.
If
you are a young man, when you see young ladies at the beach or in the store or at
church, guard your heart. Be a gentleman in thought and in deed. Treat young
girls as if they were your sisters. Treat older women as if they were your
mother or grandmother. They are somebody’s sister, or daughter, or niece, or
grandmother. They are a daughter of the king—and you are a son of the king. Act
like one.
Jesus
had the utmost respect for women in a society that gave few rights to women. Even
the woman caught in adultery, Jesus did not condemn. He sent her accusers away
and told her to sin no more (Matthew 12:31).
Young men, if you want a Christian wife, you
need to be a Christian man to attract that kind of young lady. The woman you
marry will be the mother to your children. Set an example before you get
married by treating all women, young and old, with respect.
If
you didn’t grow up in a Christian home, visit some Christian families and eat
dinner with them. Pray with them. God’s love for his church is beautifully
expressed in a marriage between a Christian man who loves his wife and a
Christian woman who loves her husband.
This
is a high standard, but it can be done. I recently went to a wedding where the bride
and groom shared their first kiss on their wedding day. I marveled that a young
couple could have that much self‑control and remain pure until they married.
I
recently told my younger daughter, and I have told her this many times, a
simple expression that goes like this: Clothes on, hands off. One night,
however, I made a silly mistake and said, “Clothes off, hands on.” She gave me
a wry smile, catching my mistake before I did. We both laughed, but she knew
exactly what I meant.
Society
will tell you it’s okay to kiss, touch, and do things that are contradictory to
the teachings of the Bible. Don’t do it. When you become like the world and see
love and sex through the eyes of Hollywood movies, tabloids, and gossip
magazines, you’re cheapened. You have bought into Satan’s lies that these perversions
will make you happy. They won’t.
You
cheat yourself out of what God meant for good between a couple after they
become one through marriage. Besides, do you really want those images in your
mind on your honeymoon?
If
you are a young lady, how would you like your new husband to think about other
women he has intimately known when he has just wed you? If you are a young man,
do you want to marry a young lady who has cheapened herself with other men?
It’s
very difficult to keep yourself clean in a world that is inundated with sex and
skin and beauty. I recently went on Twitter to find some categories for
hashtags for my book. I looked up a common, everyday word and was presented
with pornographic pictures of young girls. I was stunned.
If
you’re normal, you will find these temptations difficult to resist. You’re
curious, you have hormones, and you’re human. But every time you give in to these
temptations, the lust of the flesh, you’re cheapening your view of something
beautiful. God made sex sacred to be shared between a husband and a wife.
Your
preoccupation before marriage with lustful thoughts will affect your
relationship with the opposite sex. Raw images from the web or pictures from
magazines will become imprinted in your mind. You will remember them at
inappropriate times. The best way to avoid the temptation is not to allow
yourself to be tempted. The Bible says in I Timothy 6:11, “But flee from these
things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love,
perseverance and gentleness.”
Daniel
showed great respect for Shale. By opening the door so as not to be alone with
her, Daniel respected her. He did not want to put himself into a compromising
position with her, that there could ever be rumors spread about their relationship.
Someday
you will probably meet a young man if you’re a young lady, or if you’re a young
man, you’ll meet a girl to whom you’re attracted. If that significant other
tells you things like, “If you love me, you will do this,” or some other
ridiculous statement, have the guts to say “No.” Believe in yourself, your
value, and your self-worth.
Let
me tell you something else. You might be tempted because you want it. Sexual sin
doesn’t feel bad, it doesn’t look horrid, and Satan won’t show up with pointed
ears and a pitchfork and lounge beside you on the sofa with your date. Unless
you have blue blood, you will enjoy romantic relationships. That is normal.
Wanting to engage in sexual activity is not what gets you into trouble.
Compromising is.
What
greater gift can you give your future husband or wife than to be able to tell
him or her that you have never shared yourself with anyone else? You have not
kissed, you have not fondled, you have not slept, and you have not revealed
your unclothed body to someone you have previously dated. Once you have given
away that first kiss, you can’t get it back. Once a man has touched you, you
have given away that part of your body. And once you have been intimate, you’re
no longer a virgin.
I
advise young men and women when they are dating not to even kiss. Once the
juices start flowing, it’s difficult to turn off the passion. Avoid the
situation in the first place.
What
Hollywood presents is a sordid picture of reality. I cringe when I see those
glamorous pictures of movie stars plastered on the covers of gossip magazines
and newspapers—in my heart, I believe them to be the most miserable people on
the planet.
Perhaps
the saddest tale is that of Lindsay Lohan. What a beautiful, young, talented
girl she was in the Disney movie The
Parent Trap released in 1998. I wondered how long it would be before she
posed for a girlie magazine. She is the epitome of someone who had so much to
gain and so much to lose. With great talent comes great responsibility and
temptation to misuse it. What a waste.
On
the other hand, I look at a young man, Tim Tebow, who has used his fame as a way
to share his faith. I have watched him from the sidelines for many years
because I live in Gainesville, Florida. He was the star quarterback for the
Gators, a Heisman Trophy winner in 2007, and took the University of Florida
football team to the national championship. He was drafted into the NFL and
played a couple of seasons for the Denver Broncos and then a year for the New
York Jets before being released on waivers. He was on his way to becoming a
distant memory until he was picked up by the New England Patriots. Before the
football season started, he was released again. What will people remember him
for?
With
great faith and opportunity to share in the public arena comes great controversy.
People have hated Tebow for no reason except that he is a Christian. Others
have looked for opportunities to destroy him. I doubt that history will paint
him as a spectacular football player, but there’s no doubt in my mind he will
take the accolades of his Lord and Savior in heaven over any applause at a
football stadium full of cheering crowds and sports pundits.
Any
six-foot-four athlete who openly admits he is a virgin and touches the lives of
cancer-stricken children in the hospital is a hero. He financially supports a
foundation to help orphans in the Philippines where his family once served as
missionaries.
I
have no idea what else he does, but I know he is not filling the pages of those
gossip magazines with unseemly stories. If he were living that kind of life,
the whole world would know. Tim Tebow’s road has not been easy. He has been
scoffed and ridiculed, but through it all, as of this writing, he has walked
the straight and narrow path of his convictions.
My
point is this: You can do it. You can be
like Tim Tebow or you can be like Lindsay Lohan, or somewhere in between. Be
careful, however, about the “somewhere in between.” God doesn’t have good
things to say about lukewarm people. In Revelation 3:16, Jesus said, “So
because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my
mouth.”
You
must be sold-out to Jesus Christ. You will not have the strength and endurance
to overcome the temptations that your sinful nature will crave if you don’t.
Satan and his demons are relentless. You can’t win this battle without becoming
a follower of Jesus Christ. Being a fan of his is not sufficient. You will lose
every time. My mother used to say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
Good intentions aren’t good enough. You need the power of the Holy Spirit to
win the battle of sex and purity.
If
you have messed up in this area, there’s healing. There is forgiveness,
redemption, and restoration; but there’s also pain that comes with all of that
work to fix things.
Fortunately,
God is in the business of healing broken lives and offers forgiveness. But he
doesn’t always remove the consequences of your poor choices. If you get a venereal
disease, you will suffer. Herpes is ugly. Aids kills. What about if you get
pregnant?
Do
you want to put yourself in that situation? Do you want to have to explain to
your future husband or wife about your sins from the past?
I
find relief knowing God will always provide a way to escape temptation. Do
everything you can to flee from evil. Don’t go to questionable Internet sites.
Don’t tempt yourself. Don’t put yourself into a situation that you might regret
later.
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue
righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a
pure heart.
–II Timothy 2:22
You
belong to God. Keep yourself pure for your future husband or wife, and, above
all, for yourself. Stolen fruit may taste good for a moment, but later, it
leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Someone once said to me, “A moment of
pleasure is not worth a lifetime of regret.” That person should have heeded his
own advice. It was my ex-husband who told me that before he got his girlfriend
pregnant—seven years into our marriage. His foolish mistake shattered me and
destroyed our marriage.
Sexual
sin affects others—often tragically. Walk away—actually, flee. Ask, what would
Jesus want me to do in this situation? And then just do it.
Thank you, Jesus, that you made me the way I
am. Help me to remember I am created in your image. Help me to remain pure and
save myself for my future husband or wife. Help me to flee from temptation.
My ability to remain pure is impossible
without you. I am weak in the flesh but strong in the spirit. Restore the joy
of my salvation so that my joy comes from you and not from places where I
should not go.
I will remember that my love for you is
greater than my love for the world and all that it offers.
Help me to keep my eyes on you. Thank you
that you alone are sufficient to flee from immorality in all situations.
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