Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts

Thursday, January 30, 2014

THE CURSE OF BULLYING: Devotional from "Am I Okay, God? by Lorilyn Roberts





Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
—Ephesians 4:30


Has someone taunted you or bullied you?

*~*~*~*~*~*

From Seventh Dimension – The Door, a Young Adult Christian Fantasy:
“Why are you praying?” Judd snapped. “We aren’t here to pray.”
“Accidents happen.”
“She should be cursed,” Judd exploded.
“Don’t say that,” Rachel said.
“How do you know it was an accident?” Chumana asked.
I looked away. I couldn’t listen. My whole body quivered—what kind of curse?
—Shale Snyder, chapter one

*~*~*~*~*~*

The best way to overcome the sting of bullying is to remember how much God loves you. He loves you so much he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die on a tree 2,000 years ago. Jesus gave his life so that you could have eternal life in him. There’s nothing that can take God’s gift from you. If you have given your heart to Jesus, God will protect you from the worst spiritual attacks possible. The Holy Spirit seals  you and marks you as a follower—you can never lose your salvation.

Again, once you have accepted Jesus Christ into your heart, you’re saved. God is not whimsical. He doesn’t vacillate like the waves of the sea or give up on you in favor of someone else. Once you accept Jesus Christ into your heart, your ticket to heaven is good. Jesus paid the price.

You can grieve the Holy Spirit by the way you live or by the poor choices you make, but there’s nothing—no curse, no bully, or hateful person—that can separate you from Jesus Christ. Jesus sits at the right hand of God interceding on your behalf.

We live in a fallen world. When someone does something unbecoming or questionable, pray for that person. Pray for God’s love to touch that soul. Hurt people hurt people.

Don’t believe Satan’s lies—you can’t be cursed. The only control others have over you is the power you give them. No one can force you to think or act a certain way. Remember, you have the Holy Spirit within you.

…greater is he that is within you, than he that is in the world.
—I John 4:4
  
We have a taste of heaven here but the best is yet to come. Let God deal with those who bully, but make them accountable for their actions.

Go to a responsible adult. And again, don’t believe for an instant someone can curse you.


Thank you that I am created in God’s image. Thank you for the protection of the Holy Spirit No curse can befall me because your spirit dwells within me. Thank you that you reside in the most important place in my heart.




To read more devotionals like this one, check out Am I Okay, God? Devotionals from the Seventh Dimension, available on Amazon.


Sunday, February 24, 2013

THE DEMONIC DEATH KNELL: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts




There should be a funeral for dead marriages. There isn't.

At first the rain fell softly outside my bedroom window. Soon it increased in intensity. What began as a light mist quickly turned into a torrential downpour. The closed blinds could not shut out the lightning bolts that pierced the darkness. Thunder rocked my already frayed nerves that kept me up most of the night. Light finally arrived but the rain continued to pound relentlessly.

I dressed and ran out the door. I didn't know where I was going. Part of me believed I would never return. I wanted to run away from everything—life; Tim, my husband; the future, the past, the present—mostly I wanted to run away from myself. I wandered down the street through the pouring rain soaking through my clothes. I was a bad wife, I convinced myself, and deserved to be punished and sentenced to a life of misery. I walked around a fenced-in retention pond and headed down a pathway into the woods. I was ready to end my life of thirty years—a life that I saw no value in—wasted.

“God, why have you abandoned me,” I cried out. “Where are you?”

Lightning imprinted and disappeared across the angry sky. I felt fearful and fearless, in control of my thoughts, but my emotions spun out of control.

A stream bordering the woods near my house caught my eye. I approached the crest of the hill and was surprised to see it rambling on in the distance; I climbed down the slippery slope as raindrops seeped into my cold, waterlogged clothes.

As the rain fell harder, the sides of the creek turned to mud. I lost my balance and stumbled down the embankment as the cold water oozed into my shoes and socks. I smeared the slimy mess over my arms, legs, face, and into my blonde hair. The smell of the rancid water sickened me. I continued to cry out to a God I wasn't sure I believed in anymore, but if He did exist, I was angry with Him.

“Where are you?” I cried out. “Why don't you save my marriage?”

Over the seven years of marriage, I had kept my faith hidden because Tim couldn’t or wouldn’t relate to that part of me. If anything, he had belittled my search for understanding of the deeper things in the Bible, much like others had bullied me as a child. Anything from the Bible always stirred up controversy. I dragged Tim to church despite his protests because it was too hard to go alone. All Tim’s promises of a wonderful life as a doctor’s wife and supporting me so I could return to school had vanished—the way of  everything else in the marriage.

The religion classes I took at Santa Fe State College had given me an academic understanding of the Bible, but not the kind of heart knowledge that reached down into my soul. With the resignation of the pastor a few weeks earlier at the church we attended occasionally, Tim vowed never to go back. Rejected and feeling unloved, I’d given up.

The limestone from the muddy creek burned my eyes and scratched my skin. How many creepy, crawly things filled the water that now covered by body? I rolled over and stared up at the darkened, gray sky. Is this all there was? Was there nothing more to live for?

As dirty as I felt, it wasn't enough. There had to be something more I could do to become the ugly, dirty, unloved person that I was. I climbed out of the creek and headed back to the house. The rain had let up but not the seething pain that lashed out at me. When I returned to the house, I washed off the dirt in the shower knowing I had not accomplished what I wanted.

Then I remembered the pills in the medicine cabinet. I tried to dismiss the thought but I couldn't. I wanted my torment to end. Rejection consumed me. I longed to be loved, held, and needed. I felt like God had abandoned me. The lies were deafening.

I opened the medicine cabinet and searched for pills—anything I could find. I pulled out several bottles—an assortment of Tylenol, Bayer, and other things accumulated during our marriage. Not concerned with what they were, I opened each bottle and threw the contents on the table.

I sat for a long time staring at the scattered pills that threatened to end my life. They spoke my name, called out to me, and taunted me. I was in a trance. I took them and made a face—my face, with a mouth contorted into an upside‑down smile. Nobody could hurt me anymore. I took pleasure in the fact that the last act in my life was mine, not something somebody did to me.

As I reached for the pills, I was stopped by something far bigger than myself. A voice spoke to my heart out of the recesses of time and space, a word‑thought that was not of this world. It was not an audible voice, but it was as real to me as if it had been.

I saw myself standing in front of Jesus, outside the gates of heaven. He was waiting for me. From his lips came a question I had no answer to.

“Lori, how can you do this thing when I died for you two thousand years ago? How can you throw your precious life away?”

I stopped. The words were said in a gentle, pleading tone, spoken in a language I understood. I was in the presence of Goodness, even as I sensed a spiritual war waging in the unseen world around me. I felt fallen angels battling against the armies of God.

Demonic beings wanted my soul and unseemly forces beckoned, “Take the pills and end your suffering. You belong to us. Nothing in the world of light will ever change you because you are unlovable.”

Evil is relentless, especially when it thinks it can win. The clamor would have been deafening if my earthly ears could have heard it, but the battle belongs to the Lord. He knows His own and I was His. The choice was mine, though, to choose life over death. God's unconditional love lets us choose who we will follow, a love that does not condemn or control. Would I allow love to conquer hate or would deception convince me that despair was the only answer? Could I accept forgiveness as the path to freedom? Did I believe Jesus loved me, would never leave me, and had forgiven me?

I closed my eyes and prayed for deliverance from the darkness.

Jesus stood before me, His eyes seeing through to my soul. Hope would emerge if I could believe in His healing power. The Risen Savior created a sense of calmness where chaos had existed. An overwhelming sense of peace enveloped me. Love pierced the darkness and Hope raised His scarred hands, reminding me of the price it cost Him. The shadows began to lift, grudgingly at first, refusing to accept defeat. A veil of light embraced the dark surroundings and the demons fled. They recoiled because they could no longer see. They were lost—lost in the darkness because the light had blinded them.

I knew at that moment, that I couldn't do this heinous thing. I no longer believed the evil—an evil that tried to hurt me. I had been deceived. The fallen angels knew they had lost their hold on me—at least for the moment. The screams of hate by the demonic powers slowly trailed off as the darkness dispersed, leaving behind a cat-o’-nine-tails reduced to whimpering.

They would go in search of their unsuspecting next victim. For the moment, I was free from their taunts. An overwhelming sense of love caressed my soul. A deafening silence waited on cue for the celebration to begin. God’s angels began to shower me with grace.

The Immortal Being of the universes cast out my despair with His perfect love and covered me with mercy. No longer fettered with chains in a dungeon of defeat, I was free. For the first time, I felt loved.

I was now at one with “The One” who knew my greatest need. He embraced me as I had never been held, loved me as I had never been known—unconditionally. I was given another chance at
life. Poor in spirit, I had seen God.

I quickly cleared the brightly-colored pills off the table and threw them away. Their enchantment had lost its magic. No longer condemned, I was a new creature, a new person, redeemed by the Redeemer. Exhausted but renewed, I had seen a great light. Jesus had won—life over death. A celebration was at hand. If the rocks could have cried out, they would have.

Jesus said in Matthew 15:7, “I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” 

“God, please show me the way,” I begged. “Please forgive me."

For the last twenty-six years, God has never left my side, but I will never forget the day He delivered me from that demonic death knell. I thank God for reaching down and saving me, the wretch that I was. Little did I know then the great plans He had for my future.

By the grace of God, since that experience, God has restored by life many times over. I finished college and obtained my Master of Arts in Creative Writing. God brought me two beautiful daughters from the ends of the earth that are now fourteen and twenty-one. I was blessed with a job that allowed me to stay home and even homeschool them. I have published four books and lead a network of Christian authors from around the world. 

Most of all, my relationship with Jesus Christ has never wavered. Even though at times I’ve made mistakes and disappointed Him, God has been faithful and provided for all of my needs. I feel blessed for the doubts I once had because God showered me through those dark days with His perfect love and gave me hope. God is sufficient to meet every need, even when I am weak; and for that, I am thankful.




To check out Lorilyn’s latest book, Seventh Dimension – The Door, a YA Christian fantasy, you can purchase it at the following websites:



To buy Seventh Dimension – The Door at Amazon:  http://amzn.to/UBE1Mr
To buy Seventh Dimension – The Door as an audiobook:  http://bit.ly/11YrzMI
To buy Seventh Dimension – The Door at Barnes & Noble (Print):  http://bit.ly/WRkUha

REMEMBER: There is no pit so deep, no hurt so painful, no secret so horrid that God can’t cover it through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ. Open up your heart to the infinite possibilities of living a life of love, no longer warped by bullying or scarred by deceitful words. Where there is life, there is hope—and healing!

Saturday, October 6, 2012

BOOK EXCERPT: SEVENTH DIMENSION - THE DOOR: A Young Adult Fantasy, CHAPTER 1: “The Dark Secret of Shale Snyder”





Prologue

A diary entry many years later:

“Long ago, a magical king was born in a kingdom where animals talked and intellect sparred with spirituality. It was a time when truth transcended culture, forgiveness won battles, and love conquered a young girl’s heart.

But lest I get ahead of myself, let me start from the beginning—which happened a long, long, long time ago. So long ago, I barely remember the beginning of my journey to the Seventh Dimension.



Chapter One

The Dark Secret of Shale Snyder


I hid in a closet underneath the stairs—my safe house. Nobody would find me in here. It wasn’t used because the ceiling was too low. After the accident, the closet became my friend. I wanted to avoid Judd, who came over to visit Chumana. She was not my sister but we lived together.
Guilt overwhelmed me. The door creaked as I turned the handle. I held my breath and peered through the tiny slit. Moving shadows darkened the room. Judd, Rachel, and Chumana stared into a small brown shoebox.
Chumana burst out crying. “I hate Shale.”
I cringed. She already hated me anyway, ever since we moved in with them a few months earlier.
Rachel stood and recited a Jewish prayer. “Barukh shem k'vod malkhuto l'olam va'ed. Blessed is the name of his glorious kingdom forever and ever.” With her unkempt hair, puffy red eyes, and flushed face, I barely recognized my best friend.
“Why are you praying?” Judd snapped. “We aren’t here to pray.”
“Accidents happen,” Rachel said.
“She should be cursed,” Judd exploded.
“Don’t say that,” Rachel said.
 “How do you know it was an accident?” Chumana asked.
I looked away. I couldn’t listen. My whole body quivered—what kind of curse?
Judd’s voice cracked. “I demand she tell us what happened.”
The three twelve-year-olds sat silently for a moment before Rachel responded. “She fell down the stairs with Fifi and she’s afraid.”
I swallowed hard.
Judd pulled his uncle’s Atlanta Braves cap over his eyes and clinched his hand into a fist. “I hope Shale never has any friends—for the rest of her life.” He covered his face and sobbed.
I bit my fingernail holding back tears. I’d never heard a boy cry. Could his curse come true?
Chumana’s red hair matched her fiery temper. “That’s not enough of a curse. She already doesn’t have any friends.”
“I’m her friend,” Rachel said. “Accidents happen.”
Rachel lived two buildings down from us in the Hope Garden Apartments. Would she still be my friend if I told her the truth? I didn’t just fall—it was what I was doing when I fell. I was too afraid. I rubbed my swollen ankle, a reminder of my foolishness. The doctor hoped it would heal, but Fifi lay in the box.
Probably God hated me, too. If I told the truth, everyone would hate me. I couldn’t even tell my mother. My father—he left me long ago.


***

Two Years Later

I felt a hand reach underneath my blue skirt. I spun around on my toes. Students in the crowded hallway blended into a blur of anonymity. Hurried bodies shoved past. Am I going crazy? Did I imagine it? I scanned faces and froze each one, like a snapshot with a camera.
“Shale, why are you standing there? Come on or you’ll be late to class.” Rachel was waiting at the hall lockers.
I walked towards her as the bell rang.
“Are you okay?” She furrowed her brow.
“I’m fine.” I smiled, pretending nothing had happened. I’d think about it later. “Did you finish your analysis of As You Like It?”
Rachel’s brown eyes bulged. “Is it due today?”
“Here’s mine. You can take a quick look if you need to.”
“Oh, thanks, Shale. I hate Shakespeare anyway. No copying, promise. Just a peek.”
“It’s no different from reading Spark Notes on the web,” I quipped.
When we walked into English class at Garden High School, I sat in the seat closest to the door and stared out into the darkened hallway. Who did it? What would I do if I caught him? Mrs. Wilkes’s voice brought me back to reality as she recited from a Shakespearean play.

“All the world’s a stage.
And all the men and women merely players
They have their exits and their entrances
And one man in his time plays many parts
His acts being seven ages.”

What was my part? At fourteen, did I have one yet?

***

Later in the afternoon, I tripped while stepping off the school bus. My books were scattered over the ground. My bum ankle from the accident two years earlier would catch at the worst possible moments—what I considered my eternal punishment.
Scrambling to pick them up, I wiped the red Georgia clay off my math book. The bus waited long enough to make sure it wouldn’t run me over before pulling away.
“Hey, wait up, ya’ll.” I walked faster to catch up as Rachel stopped, but Chumana and Judd kept going. We still lived in the same apartment complex on the south side of Atlanta—had for years.
“If you used a backpack, you wouldn’t have dropped your books,” Rachel chided me.
“Mine broke.” I scanned Rachel’s back. “Where’s yours?”
“I did my homework at school. This is all I needed.” Rachel waved a thick book with strange-looking letters in the air.
“Can you read that stuff?”
“Sure,” Rachel laughed, “but I don’t know what it means. You could too if I taught you.” Rachel flipped to the first page. “You start on this side.” Her finger pointed to a line of Hebrew and she ran her finger across the page from right to left.
 “Really?”
“Yes.” Rachel giggled. “So who reads backward, the English or the Jews?”
 “I’d say the Jews. I can say that since I’m not Jewish, right?”
“Why not?”
“Writing would sure be easier if English was right to left. I wouldn’t smear my words.”
Rachel nodded. “I forget you’re left-handed. It’s crazy, isn’t it—like the Brits drive on the left side and we drive on the right.”
We walked for a while not saying anything. I glanced at my friend with her striking olive skin, almond brown eyes, and brown hair. “Do you like being Jewish?”
“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know any different.”
 “I wish I was Jewish.”
“Why?” Rachel asked.
“It would be neat to be able to say I was something.”
“You could go to church,” Rachel suggested.
“Mom and Remi would never go. Every time they talk about God or anything religious, they end up fighting.”
Rachel flinched. “That’s too bad. By the way, thanks for your help with English.”
“You’re welcome.” I switched my books to the left, thinking how much I hated the long walk home, especially since we now lived farther away. The new unit we moved into when Remi and mother married was at the very back by the woods.
Rachel frowned, noticing my musings. “What’s it like having a father now?”
I bit my lip hesitating. “At least I have my own bedroom and don’t have to share with Chumana.”
“That’s good,” Rachel agreed. “How did you ever end up living with her anyway?”
“Mother didn’t have any money when we moved to Atlanta. She found an ad that Chumana’s mother placed in the Atlanta Constitution looking for a roommate. It was a cheap place to live.”
I eyed Judd and Chumana ahead of us. “What are they talking about? They have been spending a lot of time together.”
Rachel lowered her voice. “I know.”
“Maybe they deserve each other.”
Rachel edged up even closer to me and spoke in a whisper, “You never knew your father, right?”
“No.” I clutched my books which now seemed heavier. “Mother couldn’t wait to marry Remi after being divorced for so many years. Then she cried all night when they returned from their honeymoon in the mountains. I couldn’t sleep. I wondered why, but was too afraid to ask.”
“Maybe it was a bad honeymoon,” Rachel chortled.
“Silly you. How can you have a bad honeymoon?”
“I don’t know,” Rachel replied. “I’m sure it’s happened.”
“I hardly knew Remi the day they married.”
“It’s hard to imagine what it would be like to be at your own parent’s wedding. I mean, it might be funny if it could happen,” Rachel said.
“Like Back to the Future?” Then my thoughts darkened. “How would you like having a stepfather you don’t know?”
Rachel shook her head. “I wouldn’t.”
I’d never confided in anyone about my past but now I couldn’t stop. “Presents arrive twice a year from North York. I don’t remember anything about my father. One day he left and never returned.”
“I can’t imagine what that would be like,” Rachel said.
“Sometimes I get angry.”
Rachel’s eyes widened. “About what?”
“Mother didn’t ask how I felt about her remarrying.”
We walked in silence as my words hung in the air. I kicked a rock on the sidewalk and it skipped into the gutter. Rachel’s warm nature was comforting. She came from such a perfect family, or it seemed. I’d tell her things I wouldn’t tell anyone else.
Voices from the past mocked me. “Do I walk like a chicken?”
Rachel laughed. “No, you don’t walk like a chicken.”
“Do I have big lips?”
“Big lips?” Rachel stopped and stared at me surprised. “No.”
“You don’t think so? Every time I wet them with my tongue, I worry I’m making them fat—so I was told.”
Rachel examined my fair face. I pretended not to notice. “You’re beautiful. Who would say such mean things?”
I didn’t want to tell her. What was the point in making him look bad?
“I love your green eyes and long brown hair.” Rachel reached out and grabbed a couple of strands, flipping them over my shoulder. “I wish mine wasn’t wavy with all the humidity. I use an iron to straighten it but it doesn’t stay that way for long.” Rachel giggled. “Guys love long, straight hair.”
“Remi wants me to call him dad, but that seems weird.”
A few feet in front of us, Chumana knelt on the sidewalk.
Rachel squinted. “What are they looking at?”
An earthworm wiggled on the sidewalk, barely warm from the late afternoon sun. A few weeks after Christmas, it was the wrong time of year for creepy crawlers.
“It’s probably cold,” I said.
Judd lifted his foot to squash it.
“Wait,” I demanded.
Judd glared at me.
“Why kill it?” I asked.
He leaned down and picked it up, dangling the worm a few inches above the sidewalk. “Have you ever dissected one of these?”
I shook my head.
He stiffened. “I should make you squish it between your delicate fingers.”
I stared at the worm. Judd dropped it on the sidewalk. As he started to smash it again, I leaned over and shoved him. “Just leave it alone.”
Judd’s face turned beet red. “Don’t ever push me again. You hear me?”
I nodded. My knees spasmed like a jack-in-the-box.
“You don’t like squishing worms but you killed my puppy.” His icy eyes ripped at my soul.
Rachel said, “Get over it. You sound so hateful.”
Chumana glared through her thick, black-rimmed glasses. “Judd is right, though, Rachel. Don’t you remember?”
“I remember,” Rachel whispered.
My heart raced as I picked up the worm—its slimy body was cold to the touch—and stuck it in my pocket.
Judd shook his head and stomped off.
Ruefully, I urged Rachel and Chumana, “You two go on. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Rachel nodded. They continued walking, leaving me alone.
After wrapping the worm up in some brown leaves, I placed it on a warmer corner of the concrete. When I lifted my eyes, I saw the white dog for the first time. She sat nearby wagging her fluffy tail.
As I approached her, she stood and limped backward. The scruffy creature was dirty and mangy, with floppy short ears and almond brown eyes. If she belonged to someone or was lost, the owner wasn’t taking very good care of her. A fuzzy feeling warmed my heart. Did she like me? Before I could get too close, the dog turned and ran away.