I HATE MY STINKING SIN: Devotional from "Am I Okay, God? By Lorilyn Roberts

Do not let the sun go down while you are angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ephesians 4:26b‑27

We will never be free of our sin until we get to heaven. Satan will never give up taunting us, bullying us, and shaming us. As long as we live here he is the “prince of the air.”

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From Seventh Dimension – The Door, a Young Adult Christian Fantasy:

We climbed the stairs to my room and a veil of darkness shrouded me—Fifi’s dead body appeared to me in a vision once more at the bottom of the stairs. I had hoped the memory wouldn’t torture me anymore, that the king would heal me. Why hadn’t me? I grabbed the post to catch my balance. Rain started to fall.

—Shale Snyder, chapter twenty-nine

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Satan prowls around like a roaring lion hunting down unsuspecting victims. In I Corinthians 10:13, Paul tells us that “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”

For many years, I hated many things about my life. I even hated myself at times—the fact that my father left me, that I grew up in a broken home, that I failed the first grade, that I had a speech impediment, and that I was clumsy. I felt misunderstood and unappreciated by others. I had no self-worth. I was an outcast in social circles at school. No one liked me except the smart kids, once they figured out I wasn’t dumb, and so I hung around with a bunch of nerds.

I preferred to be alone with a good book or playing the guitar. I didn’t care about loud parties or drinking or concerts or smoking or any of those things in which teenagers get involved—to their detriment. I was a loner because—well, I liked being alone. My parents thought something was wrong with me.

When I got married, I expected my husband to fix me. After all, he was going to be a doctor and he should be able to be all that I needed—to make up for what I lacked in the past. The truth is, the only thing that could fix me was a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

The sad part is this: nothing was wrong with me. I wasn’t flawed or defective or weird or antisocial or stupid or bad. I actually was and still am very creative, brilliant in some ways, self-sufficient, and uniquely made in God’s image. And so are you. I was and still am a sinner. And so are you.

Unconditional love covers a multitude of sins. That kind of acceptance and validation can only come from Jesus Christ. There’s no pill, no lover, no vacation, no job, no friend, and no food that can fill that spiritual void and remove the sting of lies and false accusations—only the healing power of our risen Savior.

If you’re like Shale, a victim of circumstances, if you’ve been hurt, go to God in prayer. Take your Bible and cover it with your tears. Allow God’s Holy Spirit to lift your crushed spirit. Corrie ten Boom once said, “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still (The Hiding Place).”

After you’ve poured out your heart to God, find someone in whom you can confide.

Allow God’s healing in your life. Allow him to fill every nook and cranny of your heart with his love and surrender your life to him. Choose to spend the rest of your life living in forgiveness— sometimes just one moment, then one hour, then one day, then one week, then one year, then five years, then ten years. And then a lifetime.

Focus on this moment—that’s all you have. Let God worry about the tomorrows. Be set free from your unresolved anger by focusing on the process of forgiving. The outcome is in God’s hands.

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Dear Jesus, I know you love me, warts and all. I have sinned against you and others. I am separated from your love because of my sin. I know that you’re the only way to eternal life.

You made salvation possible through your death on the cross. Your resurrection is proof that you’re who you say you are. I accept you into my heart. Thank you, Jesus, for coming into my life right now. Thank you for forgiving me of my sins.

if you would like to hear me tell my personal testimony, I appeared on a television show in Atlanta, Georgia, "Family and Friends." You can listen to it at the following link.

http://bit.ly//Roberts_Friends

Am I Okay, God? Was a finalist in the International Book Awards for best nonfiction cover and best Christian inspirational book for 2014.

To read all the devotionals in the Seventh Dimension Series, click on this Amazon link.

I DON’T WANT TO FORGIVE: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts, from "Am I Okay, God?"

I DON’T WANT TO FORGIVE

Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

—Matthew 18:21-22

Everyone agrees forgiveness is something we should do until we are confronted with the unforgiveable.

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From Seventh Dimension – The Door, a Young Adult Christian Fantasy:

I stood frozen as if shot with a stun gun. How could he be here? Memories hijacked me—the curse he put on me two years ago, the attack in the hallway, shaming me with the worm, and all the things too numerous to mention. He had made my life hell. I hated him. How dare he follow me here! I began to hyperventilate, feeling my way behind me with my hands.

“Don’t come near me or I’ll kill you.”

—Shale Snyder and Judd Luster, chapter twelve

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Did Shale have the “right” to hate Judd? After all, he had tried to put a curse on her when she was young, physically attacked her in the hallway at school, and bullied her relentlessly.

How about Judd? Was he justified in how he treated Shale? Shale had hurt Judd when she accidentally killed his puppy. Do two wrongs make a right?

I have been a Christian since I was twelve years old. At thirty I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ when I read the book of Romans in the New Testament. My desire to read the Bible was prompted when my husband left me for another woman.

At the core of my struggle was the fact I didn’t want to forgive my husband. I wanted to hold on to my pain because it was familiar. I had been in a lot of pain for a long time. I didn’t know how I would live without him and I didn’t feel like he deserved to be forgiven.

Besides that, I was grieving. Emotionally I was too distraught to be rational about the concept of forgiveness. My sorrow was like a stranglehold, deep and relentless.

Once I realized I needed to forgive, I wasn’t sure I could. I’d died a thousand deaths and there was no way I could forgive anyone who had hurt me that badly.

Has someone done something to you and you can’t seem to let go? Have you ever done something to someone that caused that person immense pain?

Over the course of time, the raw memories will fade. The pain may ease, but will probably always be there. Despite the hurt, forgiveness brings acceptance and peace.

Hate is one of the strongest emotions of the human psyche. Martin Luther King said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Shale’s hatred toward Judd  spilled out into other areas of her life, particularly in her relationship with God. She angrily blamed him for sending her broken toys, taking away her best friend, giving her parents who didn’t understand her and teachers who hated her. Most of all, she was angry at God for teasing her with a stray dog she couldn’t keep.

When you refuse to forgive, you harbor bitterness. You can’t compartmentalize your feelings. Being unable to forgive will eventually take over your entire personality. Have you ever met a vindictive or bitter person?

Thoughts, emotions, and actions will be affected. Just as cancer invades a person’s body, hatred knows no boundaries.

Preoccupation with hate can become a full-time job. It takes a lot of energy to stay angry—energy that could be used for more constructive purposes. Satan is the only winner when you refuse to forgive. Is your inability to forgive worth it?

Dear Jesus, I want to forgive, but I don’t know how. Help me to let go of my pain. Help me not to hate. Even if I were willing to forgive, it wouldn’t change what has already happened, but I don’t want to be separated from you. Please help me to forgive.

To read more devotionals like this one, get your copy of "Am I Okay, God?" at Amazon.

BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD: Devotional from "Am I Okay, God?" by Lorilyn Roberts

May his name endure forever; may his name increase as long as the sun shines; and let men bless themselves by him; let all nations call him blessed. Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone works wonders.
—Psalm 72:17-18


God has existed since before the beginning of time. He created time. He created the universe. He created you, but he is not a created being.

From Seventh Dimension – the Door, a Young Adult Christian Fantasy:

Rachel stood and recited a Jewish prayer. “Blessed is the name of his glorious kingdom forever and ever.”
—Rachel Franco, chapter one

💛💛💛

In Revelation 1:8, God says, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, who is and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.”

The God of the Bible goes by many names that describe his character. The Jews and the Christians share the same God—the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Christians believe God is three in one—God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. God is not Mohammad, Buddha, or Karma.

God is all-powerful and all-knowing. Cling to that when life seems out of control, before chaos takes over and leads to frayed nerves, discouragement, and even depression.

God has promised to give you a special name that only he knows when you get to heaven. Think about what name God might give you. Who are you when no one is looking?

God wants to bless you. He knows how to turn hardships into “blessings.” These “blessings” will help you to grow in your dependency on him and make you mature.

If everything were easy, you wouldn’t need God and you would remain untested. Then when hard times come—and hard times always come—you would fall.

Satan will call you all sorts of names. Don’t listen to him. Remember how much God loves you and the name he will someday give you. Honor God above all else and put him first. Experience his presence throughout the day. Read the Bible and pray unceasingly.

Thank you, Jesus, that through you I am blessed. If you were all I had, you would be sufficient. There is no one else like you. Thank you for loving me even when I am unlovable.

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REJECTED AND ALONE: Devotional from "Am I Okay, God" by Lorilyn Roberts

Available on Amazon

Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.

—I Peter 4:19

Never will I [God] leave you or forsake you.

—Hebrews 13:5

Can you talk to your parents about your feelings—your desires, your hurts, your aspirations, and your fears? Perhaps you’re afraid they won’t understand you. I never felt understood and easily got my feelings hurt. I later learned that sensitivity helped me to be a caring person.

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From Seventh Dimension – The Door, a Young Adult Christian Fantasy:

“I couldn’t even tell my mother. My father—he left me long ago.”

—Shale Snyder, chapter two

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Fear of rejection runs deep. We’ve all felt the sting. I married when I was young and put my husband through medical school. Seven years into our marriage, he had an affair. He divorced me to marry his pregnant girlfriend, much like my father’s desertion of me when I was a young girl. Rejection’s twin brothers are worthlessness and hopelessness.

Rejection is so familiar to me that I go to great lengths to avoid it. “Am I okay?” I often asked a counselor. I believed if people knew the real me, they would reject me.

I have probably robbed myself of opportunities to further my career or be encouraged in my faith. I still struggle in this area. I am a work in progress.

Rejection comes in many forms. Perhaps you fear you will say the wrong thing at a party.

Rejection may go deeper—a boyfriend drops you, you receive a pink slip at work, or a school you wanted to attend turns down your application.

Ask God to help you sort through your rejected feelings. Read the Bible. Seek out a teacher, a counselor, a coworker, or a fellow student in whom you can confide. If you need help, do not feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask for it.

If you have made poor choices in friends, it’s not too late to cut off those relationships. If someone is abusing you physically or emotionally, seek guidance. Don’t be afraid, even if someone has threatened you.

If you’re pregnant and unmarried, don’t abort. Help is available. You will live with that decision for the rest of your life. Don’t believe what the world tells you. Abortion kills a beating heart. Call: 1-800-366-7773 or go to http://prolifeacrossamerica.org/need-help/.

If you’re suffering from the effects of an abortion, don’t suffer in silence. There’s nothing so awful that God can’t handle it. Take that first step—seek help. God will not abandon you. You’re not alone.

Not everyone will disappoint you. Not every person is a bully, although it may seem like it at times. People who care about you will help you. Whatever is keeping you awake at night or making you overeat is important. God never meant for his followers to live alone or feel isolated from others.

God never gives up on you, but you must get to the point of recognizing your need and asking for God’s help. He can fill in the holes left by those who let you down.

Whenever I feel rejected, I remember how much I am loved by my heavenly father. I will lie on my bed and read the Psalms, remembering God’s care is greater than all the wrongs others have done. We have an awesome God who someday will make everything right—all the bad things done to us will no longer be remembered.

God understands how you feel. Jesus was rejected by his own people. The Jewish leaders mocked him and turned him over to the Roman authorities to be crucified. Jesus died willingly for you and for me.

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Thank you, Jesus, for never leaving me. I know you will walk with me, even carry me, through the lowest moments in my life.

Help me to make good choices.

Help me to be wise and remember I am not alone. Please bring positive people into my life. The Bible says if I ask, you will answer me. Please help me, Lord, to trust in you.

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