WHO IS MY FATHER: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

I stared out the window looking for him—mother said he would be home soon. I was celebrating my second birthday. 

I waited for him, hour after hour, day after day, week after week, and year after year. Birthdays and Christmases came and went—thirty years passed. 

I finally met my father for the first time when I was thirty—after my husband walked out on me. I wanted to know why. What was wrong with me that all the men in my life abandoned me?

For twenty years following our initial meeting, my birthfather and I had a good relationship—meeting a couple of times each year at airports or halfway between our homes that were separated by two days travel. After all, we had thirty years of catching up to do. During that time, I learned a lot about myself—I wasn’t like him in every way as my mother had been apt to point out in moments of anger. I did look like him. I did relate to him better than I did with her. I discovered we had similar bents.

My father confessed spiritual healing, that he had prayed the Alcoholics Anonymous Serenity Prayer. I was thankful he had been delivered from alcoholism and freed from the prison of the bottle.

I rejoiced that we shared a similar spiritual path. Perhaps I longed so much for that spiritual connection I overlooked some things that later made me question the authenticity of his conversion. But he introduced me to C.S. Lewis, a gift in itself—I still have the Narnia books he gave me over twenty-five years ago.

My mother never understood my need or desire to connect with him, but deep thinkers are prone to ask unanswerable questions. When I went through my painful divorce from a man I deeply loved, I wanted answers. I was afraid I would never be able to love again—unless I knew myself. I couldn’t see that happening without connecting with the birthfather I never knew.

When I asked him why he left, he said he couldn’t get along with my mother. That was sufficient for me at the time, though I should have asked him how he could leave me also—or more in keeping with how I felt, how could he abandon me?

Three years ago, I was in the process of publishing my adoption memoir, Children of Dreams. He found an excerpt of my book on YouTube. Late one night, I received a call from his wife, “Your father did not abandon you. If you put this in your book, we will sue you. In fact, as we speak, he is talking to an attorney on the other phone.”

I suppose notoriety has its downside when you want to write about your past. That night will always be a turning point. I realized then, that some things aren’t fixable. I took that one sentence out of my book in reference to adopting my two daughters from Asia—the correlation that I understood their loss, losing their family, their culture, and their heritage. 

Adopted children must grieve that loss, and as adoptive parents, we can’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Even though adopted children will have a future and a hope they would not have otherwise, they still have suffered a loss that will become a part of their psyche. That can’t be denied—adopted children need parents secure in who they are to allow their children to become everything they were born to be in Christ. With acceptance, love, and prayer, most will flourish. 

We cling to what is unseen to embrace the Lord’s future for their lives. We need to show our children God’s unconditional love—if we fail to do that, we will have squandered the greatest gift we could give them. I knew from my broken past and dependency on God, I could help two orphans begin anew in America.

I will spare you most of the emotional turmoil I dealt with—the only gift my father gave me as a child that I still had were three bunnies in a ceramic egg that arrived broken. I crushed it with a hammer into a gazillion pieces, raging that I had been rejected a second time. 

I threw out all his award-winning pictures that hung on the walls and all the books he had published. I wanted nothing of his, not even his camera that I had taken all over the world during my traveling days. Someone in the church later found all the books and pictures and removed them from the dumpster—they knew they were mine because of the name Roberts on the books. My pastor kept the camera. I never wanted any of it back.

I had hoped someday to write a wonderful memoir about my birthfather and how God had restored our relationship after thirty years. What story could I tell now, other than grieving at the horrendous emails his wife sent me that broke my heart—who was she to tell me what is truth? I lived it and had been shaped partly by his absence from my life. I finally told her not to email me again or I would write a book and call it The Other Women in my Father’s Life. He had four wives.

Four years have passed and I have not seen or spoken to my birthfather. Recently I went on Amazon and looked up his name and saw the listing of all his books. My heart broke once again. I am now an author and can’t even share with him the one trait we have in common—creativity. He won enough awards to fill a closet, so many he gave me several of them because he didn’t have a place to put them all. I threw those in the dumpster, also.

I sat in front of my computer and wept. Meeting my birthfather made my life more difficult in many ways, not the least of which my mother never understood. Her second husband, who adopted me when I was ten, felt hurt as if I had betrayed him. I never told him about meeting my birthfather. He knew, though, and before he died of a brain tumor, I spent every moment I could with him, 350 miles away, to assure him he would always be my father. God introduced to me through him the powerful, life-changing concept of adoption.

Is there any wisdom I can impart or any encouragement I can share? At fifty-eight, reflecting on my past, my complicated family relationships, what would I do differently if I had known years earlier what I know now? Should I have even opened that door, risking being rejected once again? This road may be less traveled by some, but it’s an all too crowded one for others.

God created families because we need that connectedness. Children need to feel loved. They need to know they matter. They need the security of knowing someone will be there for them—forever. Usually, that is the mother and father. That is what God intended. Because we live in a fallen world, however, that doesn’t always happen. Look at Africa and all the children who have been orphaned because of aids.

God gives us guarantees. Because He is perfect, He honors all those guarantees. Because He is love, He carries us when we are weak and wipes away our tears. Because He is just, He sets every path straight that is crooked. Because He is the great physician, He heals our broken bones and broken hearts. Because He is in control, He protects us in good times and bad, not allowing us to suffer more than we can bear. Because He is the alpha and the omega, nothing catches Him by surprise. My dependency on Him makes His power perfect in my weakness, past, present and future.

Above all, God has given me Himself—He is my father, my husband, and my children’s father and future husband. Earthly fathers may fail us, even the most Godly, loving ones, but God never will. He loves me (and you) so much that He adopted us into His family through the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ. 

There is no pain so deep, no hurt so great, and no conflict so vast that God, our heavenly Father, can’t embrace our beating hearts and heal our infected wounds. Our Father is never too busy. He doesn’t leave us for other women, alcohol, drugs, money, or selfish ambitions. God fills the void that earthly fathers can’t, and even more so.

I would not have adopted my two daughters as a single mother if I didn’t believe that. Can I meet all of their needs?  No—but God as their heavenly Father can. When I fail them. God picks up the slack. He knows us so intimately that He provides what we need even before we ask.

Letting go of those things we can’t change is part of the healing process. It’s not a one-time decision. It’s a lifelong commitment. Part of our nature, because we are created in the image of God, longs for that earthly father because that was God’s intent. But if we keep our eyes on God in fits of depression for what we never had or when we mourn for what we lost, God will walk alongside us and give us Himself. He will point us to eternity, our forever home and forever family, where we will walk with Him, dance with Him, and commune with Him, never to be separated by sin or death or earth’s physical or spiritual limitations.

My losses here on earth quicken within me a longing for the approval of my heavenly Father. I feel His acceptance of me from heaven and His assurance that He will never leave me or abandon me. 

As I grow older, I discover more and more of my identity in Him. The more I see of God in my life, the more I am convinced that those losses I once grieved are as chaff, tossed by the wind into the sea of cleansing. Who longs for inferior rubbish when he has tasted superior manna? 

I count it as all joy, knowing God is sufficient to overcome my past. Not only have my felt needs brought me into a deeper communion with God, but my suffering has produced empathy and compassion for others that is beyond my human ability—I take no credit for God’s blessing on my life that encourages those around me.

Who is my father? He is the Great I Am. When that day comes of the King’s return, my heavenly Father will wipe away every tear. I know my fleeting separation from Him now will be worth the wait—I look forward to dancing with Him at the wedding feast of the Lamb. 


As it says in Psalms 30:11-12, “You have turned my mourning into dancing. You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, that my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.” (New American Standard).

Read Lorilyn Roberts’ Young Adult Fantasy Novel, Seventh Dimension – The Door, with a similar theme that will speak to those who struggle with bullying and broken families. To learn more about her book, visit her website http://LorilynRoberts.com

BOOKING MARKETING: New Book Cover for Memoir Children of Dreams

To purchase click here.

GUEST POST BY AUTHOR MELISSA MAIN: They Will Know We Are Christians by Our Love

“…and do not oppress the widow or the orphan, the stranger or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another” (Zechariah 7:10).

Anyone who knows me (Lorilyn Roberts) knows my heart for children around the world. Most of us are unable to wrap our minds around the enormity of the plight of orphans and how that translates into the lives of children—until we put a face to it. Recently a friend of mine traveled to Mexico to visit an orphanage, and I asked her if she would be willing to share a few pictures and thoughts on my blog.

In Melissa Main’s Words

“We visited Door of Faith Orphanage in La Mision, in Baja California, a state in Mexico. It's odd but there is a state of California in both Mexico and the US.

I traveled to La Mision, Mexico… to build houses for poverty-stricken Mexican families and to provide support for orphanages and other charities. We distributed food to needy families and offered encouragement to workers at the orphanages and no cost day care center….there is an incredible amount of joy and satisfaction in giving to those in need and changing their lives forever. People are designed for a purpose. Helping others fulfills one of our hearts' greatest needs and helps us to discover our purpose in life.”

Children come to orphanages in Mexico because of abuse, neglect, and poverty. Some families are too poor to care for their children. They leave the children home alone while they work out of town and then they are picked up by the Mexican government and placed in orphanages. Sometimes they are left alone during the day if the parents work in town.

Tony, the 10-month-old baby in the photo, was left home alone during the day. His head was flat and dented in the back. He is very snuggly and responding well to the love and attention he receives at Door of Faith Orphanage. Sometimes babies are sent to orphanages when a mother is very young…

*~*~*~*

I have been touched personally by two small children from Nepal and Vietnam. Here are the referral photos of my daughters—they were orphans before I adopted them.

What would God’s news headlines be if He were to script today’s top stories? I have no doubt he would urge Christians to take care of the orphans and widows. Over one hundred fifty million children go to bed hungry each night. Many have lost their parents due to aids, starvation, and lack of clean water. Whenever the news covers these heart-wrenching pieces, my heart breaks because the needs are so great. Feeling overwhelmed can paralyze you from doing anything, but one person can make a difference—and you could be that person.

If you would like more information on how you can be God’s loving hands and face to a child—who longs to know Jesus’ love, here are a few links. It doesn’t take a saint to do a heroic act—it only takes a willing servant who says yes to God’s whisper in his heart.



Hope’s Promise http://www.hopespromise.com/

Today my children are normal American kids—the transformation with a little bit of love is amazing!

You can also visit Melissa Main’s blog at http://mainwriters.com/

BOOK REVIEW: “Children of Dreams,” Five Stars from Amazon Review/Author Katherine Harms: “Finding Fulfillment”

Here is a review that Katherine Harms posted last week that I loved. Yes, some reviews impact authors more than others; when they hit that nerve within us that speaks to the heart of what we have written.  *~*~*~* I think everyone I know has asked at some time, “Why am I here?” Lorilyn Roberts asks that question, too, and she answers it in Children of Dreams. Acting on her faith that God never abandons someone who is following his call, Lorilyn wades through, works around, or climbs over obstacles spread over half a world. Having traveled in a few third-world countries myself, I recognized some of the bureaucratic nightmares that stalked her effort to adopt two little girls and fulfill her dream and calling to be a mother.  Many people would have been stopped in their tracks by the initial processes and endless forms required for an international adoption. Many, many people would have wilted in Nepal as soon as they discovered they should have brought a carton of toilet paper with them. Not many single women would have braved what passes for a mountain highway in Nepal on a tiny scooter navigating past barricades and stone-throwing rebels for love of a baby. Many people would have given up on the whole thing as promise after promise was broken in Viet Nam before Lorilyn finally held her new baby in her arms. A chronicle of faith in action, Lorilyn’s path was as convoluted and full of tears as the path of the Israelites to the promised land. She, too, discovered that God has his own way of shining light into dark days and ultimately giving his children more than they even hope for. This book is worth much more than the time you will spend reading it. Don't miss Children of Dreams. To purchase click here

FIVE PARENTING DO’S AND DON’TS FOR ADOPTED CHILDREN: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

 Now that my oldest daughter is almost 21 and my youngest is thirteen, here are some words of advice:  

Do’s  

1.  Be proactive when it comes to the health, safety and welfare of your adopted child. You know your child’s background and history better than doctors, social workers, teachers, friends, or other adoptive families. Speak up when you think something needs to be addressed. Don’t assume others know better or more than you.

 

For starters, de-worm your adopted child upon arrival from a developing country.

 

2.  Be open with your adopted child about his past. Tell him everything you know. Tuck away special items to remind him of his heritage later—pictures, letters, emails, mementos, a favorite toy, or article of clothing. Let your child decide what he wants to do with these things when he is older and respect his wishes.

 

3.  Be open about adoption with others who are interested. This does not mean you need to divulge the intimate details of your child’s adoption, but it is your opportunity to share the marvelous way God has given us to make families, giving hope to the 150 million-plus orphans in the world. When onlookers see the love shared in your family, they will be less inclined to believe the horror stories that have been perpetuated by Hollywood and negative, prejudicial people.

 

4.  Help your adoptive child to be emotionally, physically, and mentally strong. Young children most likely will catch up on motor and language skills, but be willing to provide speech or physical therapy if needed. Older kids may take more time, but as parents, our job is to do everything we can to help our children reach their potential. Given the right environment, children generally will flourish, and you will be a glowing mother as you see your new son or daughter blossom.

 

This includes finding their “gift.”  Since adopted children come with a different biological code, parents need to make an extra effort to discover their talents.

 5.  Respect your adoptive child’s family, country, culture, and memories. Even if you do not like your child’s birth family or heritage, you would not be an adoptive parent if it wasn’t for a birthmother’s gift of life. Be sensitive and respectful. Let grace begin with you, remembering that your adopted daughter is a gift from God. Love her as much as you can, and then love her some more. Don’t just tell your daughter you love her, show it. And when you screw up, admit it and say, “I am sorry.” 

Don’ts 

1.  Don’t let others discourage you from adopting. If God has put it on your heart or you have thoughtfully made a decision to build your family through adoption, do your research and pursue your dream with passion. Those who are persistent and don’t give up are the ones who eventually hold their “bundle of joy.”

 

2.  Don’t make excuses for the poor behavior of your adopted child. Address what rears its head and work through it. Seek wise counsel, particularly experts skilled in adoption issues. You don’t want your son or daughter to grow up with a “victim” mentality. Love covers many shortcomings, and what was lacking, in the beginning, can be used for good later—in the form of compassion for others. While an older adopted child will have more scars and come with a history, to overcome his past, he will need to embrace it. Only through acceptance can a child overcome the pain and move on. As a parent, you can help your son or daughter to begin that process of healing.

If your child uses adoption as an excuse for poor grades, low self-esteem, behavior maladjustment, distrust, or a host of other issues that are sometimes found in adopted children, contact a professional. Without intervention, adopted children from deprived circumstances may carry their scars into adulthood, subconsciously gravitating toward familiar dysfunctional behaviors learned from the past. You can stop this destructive cycle by recognizing the need and seeking professional help.

 

3.  Don’t force your adopted child’s heritage on her. Let her choose how she wants to live her life. If your daughter was adopted internationally when she was young, she won’t have memories of her birth country. Her norms will be the traditions and culture in which she has been raised. Even if your daughter has dark skin or slanted eyes, she is now an American, Canadian or Scandinavian. Don’t be discouraged if your adopted daughter has no interest in her roots. Remember, kids want to fit in—with friends and lifestyles. They don’t want to be different. Let them be themselves.

 

4.  Don’t be afraid to parent.  People can be quick to blame the misbehavior of adopted kids on being adopted. More than likely, after a period of time, your adopted son will be going through the normal developmental stages of growing up just like all his non-adopted friends. Your adopted son will need the same boundaries and security that all kids need. Be consistent and let him know your expectations and values. Take time. Don’t be too busy.

 5.  Don’t forget to enjoy the journey of parenting.  Take lots of pictures. The time goes by too quickly; one day you will turn around and the little baby you brought home in your arms will now be a beautiful young lady (or handsome young man). Cherish the memories. There will never be enough. 


 Lorilyn is an adoptive mother (as well as an adult adoptee) of two daughters from Nepal and Vietnam. She wrote their adoption stories in Children of Dreams. Visit her website at LorilynRoberts.com to learn more about her books and blog postings. 

GUEST POST BY DEBORAH MALONE: Book Review of ”Children of Dreams“ by Lorilyn Roberts

I really liked Deborah Malone's review of my book Children of Dreams. My hope is that, as she says, Christians will have a greater appreciation of what it means to be adopted by our heavenly Father, who loves us so much.

Review by Debbie Malone

When I received my copy of Children of Dreams in the mail I thought I would just open it and take a look. Before I knew it, I was on Chapter Eight and looking forward to reading the rest of Lorilyn's story. 

Even though this is a non-fiction book it reads like fiction. Lorilyn has put so much detail into her story you feel like you've been transported to the far regions of Nepal and Vietnam along with her. She tells of the trials and hardships she endured to adopt her children Manisha and Joy. Throughout the book, she relates the process of adoption with our adoption by our heavenly Father. You will not look at adoption the same after you read Lorilyn's book. You will not be sorry you read Children of Dreams whether you are adoptive parents or not.

For order your copy of Children of Dreams, click here.

“...AND MY DAUGHTERS FROM THE ENDS OF THE EARTH” - A MOTHER’S DAY CELEBRATION: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

I gazed through the broken window admiring the grandeur of the Himalayan Mountains twenty miles west of China. I felt like I was starring in a movie as I sat nervously waiting in the dusty, dingy office of the Chief District Officer of Dolakha, Nepal. The room was mostly dark, lit with only one uncovered light bulb. Old wooden chairs lined the bare walls and scraped the concrete floor. A dark-haired, three-year-old little girl named Manisha sat beside me.

The C.D.O., a man in his early 30's, sat at an oversized desk with my papers before him. Wielding incredible power over my future, I needed his approval to adopt Manisha. It was hard for me to fathom how I had put myself into this situation, except that I knew God was leading me. My thoughts flashed momentarily back to my failed marriage of eight years.

“I don't love you anymore,” my husband told me one night after I confronted him with evidence that he was seeing another woman.

I replayed scenes of the long hours I worked as a court reporter putting him through medical school. I remembered the wine bottles and cheese that I uncovered in the garbage upon returning home after visiting my family in Atlanta. I recalled the night he contacted the police after I confronted him in his office at the hospital. Two weeks after our divorce was final, the other woman gave birth to his child. I was devastated and hurt. Only a loving God could help me to start over and begin a new life.

A few years after my divorce, I received a letter from World Vision, an evangelical organization that sponsors children in Third World countries. The beginning of the letter, dated February 13, 1993, read: "Over 150 million children worldwide are trapped by hunger, sickness, poverty, and neglect." I took the letter and put it on my refrigerator and thought, someday I am going to adopt a child from another country. The letter ended with a quote from Proverbs 13:12 (LB), "Hope deferred makes the heart sick; but when dreams come true at last, there is life and joy."

Now, eight years later, after much forgiveness, prayer, and healing, God lead me to Nepal. I looked at Manisha, and with piercing, dark brown eyes focused on me, she spoke softly in very clear English, “I love you.”

I responded back, “I love you, too.”


I did not know how she could have uttered those words because she could not speak English. It gave me the assurance I needed over the next few days that God was in control. The C.D.O. poured over my documents and after a while looked up and asked, “You're not 40?”


“No,” I said, “but I'm almost 40.”


“It's the law you must be 40.” He gave a cursory glance through the rest of my documents. He and Silas, my facilitator, exchanged a flurry of words in Nepali. Some elderly Nepali men sitting in the room stared at me. I had the feeling that Silas was talking about my infertility. I felt exposed that such personal information was being bantered about. I saw worry in Silas's eyes and knew my hopes of becoming a mother were precariously in limbo.


“We can go back to Kathmandu and try to get special permission from the Home Minister for you to adopt, but there is nothing more we can do here.”

I pondered in my heart what Manisha said to me, “I love you.” I had to trust God.

The next morning I heard a knock at my hotel door. I opened it and there was Manisha. She looked beautiful in her new pink dress and checkered blue top, smiling and laughing. My heart was full of both worry and hope.


Before we left the hotel to meet with the Home Minister, I called my Mom and asked for prayer. Isaiah 43:5-6* came to mind, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east...and my daughters from the ends of the earth.”


“O, Dear God,” I prayed,  “Please let this be Your will. Manisha needs a forever family, hope, and You.”


The sun shone brightly and it was a beautiful day as we arrived at the courthouse.


“They don't like me at the legal office,” said Silas, “because I refuse to give them money. In America, it's called bribery, but in Nepal, it happens all the time.”

Nobody wanted to help us. Silas spoke in Nepali to a male secretary and he motioned us into another room. An errand boy, after an extended discussion with Silas, went into the Home Minister's office. We waited for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he reappeared speaking in Nepali to Silas.


Silas breathed a sigh of relief and anticipation.

“The Home Minister has granted his permission for you to adopt Manisha.”

My eyes filled with tears as I remembered Manisha's softly-spoken words in the Himalayan Mountains, “I love you.” It was as if God had said to me, “I love you.”


Yes, Manisha, I love you, too.

Just as God loved us so much that He gave us His Son and adopted us into His family, God had given me the first of two daughters to love from the ends of the earth.


*NIV Translation

The full story can be read in Children of Dreams, available at Amazon and other bookstores. The medical mystery uncovered in the book was featured in Animal Planet’s “Monsters Inside Me,” Episode 210, “Shape Shifters.”
You can watch the episode by clicking on this link.


Manisha arrived home on Mother's Day, May 8, 1994. I dedicate this story to all mothers for Mother's Day!

http://lorilynroberts.com/

SINGLE PARENTING WHEN GOD SPEAKS - SIXTEEN NUGGETS OF INSPIRATION: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

Recently a friend shared with me her daughter was in the processing of adopting two children. The little girls had been abused in their family of origin and the legal case was slowly making its way through the court system. As I reread her email, I prayed that God would answer every prayer my friend’s daughter sent up, just as He had answered mine.

Then the thought occurred to me: What would I say to a young mother-to-be whom God has called to “walk in my shoes”? I know each person’s situation is a little different, but similar in that a woman feels God is leading her to single parent an orphan, an abused child, or a child who might never feel loved. What wisdom would I impart after having been at this noble but difficult task for sixteen years?

I pulled out my keyboard and a plethora of thoughts gushed forth. May my words encourage you if you are chosen by God to save an orphan—whether you are married or unmarried, but particularly if you are single. With God, all impossible things are possible. Without Him, we walk alone.

1. Single parenting is the hardest thing you will ever do, but the most wonderful thing you will ever do.

2. I would never recommend a single woman adopt. It's too hard. I would never recommend a single woman not adopt. The blessings are too great. I would let God tell you what He wants you to do. If God calls you to adopt, never back down, give up, despair, or listen to those who tell you differently. If God is in it, there is nothing that will prevent you from being a mother to a child. God has a plan and a purpose. He does things His way, not ours. Trust in God. He will direct you.

3. You will never know what tired is until you have single-parented two kids on your own (or even one).

4. God is your husband, and the perfect husband.

5. You will come to understand how much God loves you by adopting a child who has no future and no hope, for that is how we are without Jesus.

6. You will share the heart of God; His hands, His hope, and His "all" with your children. They will know God through your sacrificial love.

7. You will love more than you ever thought you could; and you will fail miserably. But your children won't mind. In fact, they will love you anyway. Acknowledge your mistakes and move on. God can be glorified in your shortcomings. He loves your children more than you do.

8. God will not abandon you. He will meet every need you have more abundantly than you could ever imagine.

9. The day you sign the adoption papers will be the best day of your life. God has given you a great gift—a chance to share His love with an orphan. That is the essence of our faith.

10. “Mommy” is the most beautiful word in the English language.

11. Enjoy every moment of the journey. Your children will grow up too fast—in the blink of an eye. The years will wiz by, and you will wonder, where did the time go?

12. Make the most of every opportunity to love, teach, laugh, cry, and even be silly. Be a mother to the fullest. Give it your all. Go to bed exhausted. It's the best kind of tiredness you will ever feel.

13. Have a latte every once and a while, and read your Bible whenever you can.

14. Pray hard. God is always with you. Know this is your calling and your life's work. Your children are precious gifts from the Hands of the Creator. They are beautifully designed in His image with a future and a hope because of your love freely given in His name.

15. Love your children unconditionally. Be flexible. Learn to say "I'm sorry." It does wonders to restore the hurting soul.

16. Enjoy the journey and have a blast. There is nothing else like it short of heaven!

WHY ARE AMERICANS SO AFRAID OF ORPHANS? Adoptee/Adoptive Mother Lorilyn Roberts Speaks Out

Why do the marketers of the movie “Orphan” think it will scare people?

In this country alone there are over 500,000 children in the foster care system. Worldwide, the U.N. estimates there are more than 145 million orphans. To translate this into a number easier to understand, my oldest daughter, Manisha, now 18, was adopted from Nepal when she was three. The estimated population of Nepal is around 28 million. That means there are over four times as many orphans in the world as there are people in her native country.

Expressed another way, the population of the United States, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, as of July 21, 2009, is 306,969,874. That means the number of orphans in the world equals half the population of our country.

If the word “orphan” is searched on Google today, the first two listings are for the movie “Orphan.” What a lost opportunity to speak the truth in love! The Wikipedia definition is third: “An orphan is a child permanently bereaved of its parents.”

The real horror is not that the movie portrays orphans as monsters. It’s the number of children that will be hurt by this disturbing message. The movie "Orphan" is only going to reinforce in the hearts and minds of individuals that orphans are damaged goods at best, monsters at worse.

Those who have thought about adopting may have second thoughts, plagued with fears and doubts. Children and teenagers who have been adopted and see the movie might be tempted to question their own self‑worth or value. Orphans who might have been adopted may not be because of the ill‑conceived notion, perpetuated by this movie, that they are “bad.”

“Orphan” is a sad commentary on Hollywood, our society, and a tragic statement of the culture in which we live. A world where money is the bottom line and sensationalism tickles the ears of gullible listeners—let it not be at the expense of those who are the least fortunate. Instead, as in the words of flight director, Gene Kranz, as portrayed in the movie “Apollo 13,” when everyone doubted that the space program would be able to bring those doomed astronauts home, he stood up and said, “With all due respect, sir, I believe this is gonna be our finest hour.”

I challenge every American, particularly those who are Christians, to look beyond the movie at the real horror—the little one who has no one to call mommy or daddy; the baby who goes to bed at night with a protruding, empty belly; the 145 million children around the world who, through no fault of their own, have lost their parents to AIDS, malnutrition, poverty, and violence.

Although all orphans have needs, some more than others, they are not monsters. They are children with beating hearts, sticky fingers, and minds full of unleashed potential. They just need to be given a chance. They are children made in the image of Christ and loved by the heavenly Father.

Rather than attacking the movie, let's join together and rewrite the script of “Orphan.” Give an orphan a chance to worship in our church and synagogue. Invite one to sit down at the dinner table. Help all of them to be educated in our schools. Let us change the negative image of an orphan one life at a time. Let us encourage them to dream big dreams and become everything God created them to be. Most of all, let us show the world that they are loved, just as Christ loved us.

If it were not for God’s unconditional love, we would all be orphans. If we unite, we can send a far different message to Hollywood. We can speak for those little ones that sit in overcrowded orphanages and wait. And hope.

Through God’s love, let us love until we feel their pain. Only then can we make a difference. Let us not let Hollywood have the last word. Truly, we can become the hand of God as we touch one of His own. Let it begin with me. Orphans Deserve Better. Let this be “our finest hour.”

http://www.lorilynroberts.com/