BREAST CANCER: WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE BREAST CANCER: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

Lorilyn With Her Mom Finishing Treatment 2017

My first chemo treatment was easy. But the two days leading up to it were not.

When I went to Moffitt to get a second opinon, the doctor recommended I have a CT scan performed on my lungs for a pleural effusion that showed up on the PET scan. She had never seen a pleural effusion caused only by surgery. 

So, of course, that gave me something else to worry about. None of my doctors had mentioned getting a CT scan on the lungs. The X-ray had been clear before the surgery.  

The CT scan was set up for the next day, a welcomed surprise it was accomplished so quickly, but the CT nurse didn’t know how to access my chemo port correctly. It was the most painful procedure I’d had done yet - unbearable. She didn’t flush out the port afterwards, and apparently when the contrast was put into the vein during the CT scan, it didn’t go into my vein but extravasated into the surrounding tissue. Talk about painful, I could’t quit crying. 

I was afraid I’d never get through the sixteen weeks of chemotherapy. Later, the infusion nurses told me never to let anyone access the port but them. The CT nurse could have damaged the infusion site. This could have caused a blood clot, infection, more surgery, and skin grafting. She also didn’t flush it.
  

The CT nurse took me back to the waiting room where I cried some more. Another patient asked if he could pray for me. I thanked him. That was the lowest point of my cancer journey. If I couldn’t handle the port being accessed, how could I handle the chemo treatment?

On the way to my CT appointment, one of our cats had something wrong with him. He was walking around the house groaning. We had taken him to the vet the week before for urine issues and an obstruction. He didn’t have an obstruction then, but I was certain he had one now. 

With male cats, it’s an emergency. I was afraid he would die without immediate care, but I was on my way to my CT scan. They squeezed me in because of the concern raised by the doctor at Moffitt. The procedure also needed to be done before I started chemo.

I called my oldest daughter. She left work and came to get Anakin to take him to the vet. Otherwise, I could not have made my appointment. The vet said he would have died within an hour without being seen. He’s still at the vet being treated. Hopefully he can come home Monday. We have switched to a prescription cat food that should prevent this from happening again. 

The next day, following the CT scan and endoscopy procedure, I hadn’t received the results, so I was anxious for the infusion appointment. I had my highest blood pressure reading ever. 

When I met with the PA, she said the lungs showed no signs of cancer, and the endoscopy biopsies were related to heartburn. Talk about relief. That would have pushed me into a stage 4 breast cancer. It’s hard for me to believe I’m a stage 3 because I had a clear mammogram and sonogram. No spread to nodes was visible on MRI or exam. The spread to the lymph nodes showed up microscopically on the biopsy.

I am now in my fourth week of Taxol treatment. I have eight more weeks to go. This will be followed by eight weeks of Adriamycin (four treatments in all on this one, every other week.)

I’m thankful I’ve started chemo treatment, and I'm thankful that through four treatments, I haven't had any side effects. 

I attribute the good outcome of my surgery and the ease so far of the chemotherapy to God’s faithfulness and prayers of so many saints. 

I hope all the additional treatments go as easily as the first four infusions, but I’ve heard people say the side effects get worse. In the meantime, I like to think the drugs are hunting down any cancer cells in my body and killing them.

The doctors have said that it's highly unusual a 1.7 cm tumor to be in as many lymph nodes as shown in the pathology report — 11 out of 15. That’s just a little larger than half an inch. 

Someday I hope to share this story — my cancer is like sin. Something that small in my body is deadly. Without Jesus Christ, a tiny bit of sin will keep us out of heaven. Something to think about, isn’t it?

Thanks again for your prayers. I really appreciate it. And if you love animals, pray that our little kitty that was found abandoned a few years ago will be restored to health. His name is Anakin.

Addendum:  Little Anakin is doing very well now:)

BREAST CANCER - GOD'S GOT MY BACK: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

Cedar Key 4-3-2017

Perhaps today I write my most difficult blog post. My oldest daughter would say I’m being too dramatic, too emotional, giving too much information, or giving too much of something. I’ve waited three months to write about my diagnosis because, first, I didn’t know what to say. Then I was too busy learning about things I never thought I would need to know. Then I got depressed and didn’t want to write anything.

In the middle of my emotional roller coaster ride, I was trying to finish The Prescience. I got to 91,000 words and realized, this can’t all fit into one book. I will have to break it up into two books. I probably set a record writing all those words in about six weeks. I was determined to finish it before my surgery in case I didn’t wake up. I thought at least some poor soul could edit and publish it.

I have since split up the manuscript into two books and am editing book 5, The Prescience.

To be candid, though, the number of doctors’ appointments has slowed me down. Last week I had five doctors’ appointments and two surgeries. Rather overwhelming. I told one doctor, “Cancer sucks.” In case you didn’t know this, cancer has a way of screwing up well-intentioned plans.

When I lay inside the MRI listening to it bang out disturbing dins as it took images, I recited the words from one of my favorite songs, “Jesus is coming back again.” As the minutes dragged on—I had to stay in a very uncomfortable position for a very long time—I shortened it to “Jesus is coming.” By the end of the longest thirty-plus minutes of my life, all I could say was “Jesus.”

That was back in the first week of January. Biopsies confirmed breast cancer. I’ll save the details for later, when I’m not facing the harshness of chemo followed by radiation.  How do you describe three months of nonstop medical treatment anyway? I still have a minimum of seven more months to go. Once the cancer treatment is finished, I’ll have six months off, and then the doctors can finish the reconstruction. I opted for a double mastectomy with implants.

My blog entries look rather empty for 2017. If you are receiving this as my quarterly email, you haven’t heard from me since October. I met my surgeon on the day Trump was inaugurated. 2017 will be known as the year I fought cancer.

Seriously, cancer is life changing. I’m thankful God is unchanging. In the midst of everything, He has been my rock and my anchor. My verse through all of this is Isaiah 58:8:  

Then your salvation will come like the dawn 

and your wounds will quickly heal. 

Your godliness will lead you forward 

and the joy of the Lord 

will protect you from behind.

I have no memory of writing that verse in the back of my note pad. I found it—just when I needed it. My translation is, “God has my back.”

What is God teaching me? That I have a long ways to go to be the person He wants me to be. Hebrews 12:5 is very helpful:

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement 
that addresses you as sons [and daughters],

My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

And do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

Because the Lord disciplines those he loves,

And he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.

Endure hardship as discipline.

God is treating you as sons…

Perhaps to some this might sound harsh, but to me, I'm reassured of God's love. While Satan wanted to discourage me and keep me from finishing the Seventh Dimension Series, I knew God was and is using my cancer diagnosis for good. He’s teaching me things I could not learn any other way. 

So I press on, facing months of treatment, knowing God has my back. I feel Jesus’ presence each day, meeting my felt needs through family, friends, and prayer warriors. Some of those praying I don’t know, but God knows them and hears them. 

I’m thankful for everyone who has brought food, sent notes, delivered flowers, called, emailed, and posted on my Facebook page. I honestly don’t know how anyone goes through cancer treatment or any other heartache without our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I’m thankful I have a good prognosis, but mostly I’m thankful God is with me. The reality is, all of us are mortal, and knowing Jesus is coming back is most reassuring. 

One book I found helpful is Don’t Waste Your Cancer by John Piper. There is more I could say, but I’ll save it for later. Please pray I won’t waste my cancer, I keep my eyes on Jesus, I don’t grow weary, and I glorify God through the very last day of treatment. I can tell you, I have not been who I could have been at times. I’m learning to live more humbly.

My focus when not dealing with cancer treatment has been to edit The Prescience. Book 6 doesn’t have a title yet, and – yes, I can’t believe it, but there will be a book 7. 

A little tease is in order—book 7 won’t be written from the point of view of Shale or Daniel. I’ll let you wonder from whose viewpoint it will be written.

I’m excited to be editing The Prescience even if it’s at a slower pace. Hopefully, my writing will be impacted in a positive way. I pray God will touch my emotional creativity to make my writing more heart-felt as Shale and Daniel battle an uncertain future that we will all be facing soon.

The most important thing for me right now is to stay close to God, love my family, value my friendships, and seek God’s will in all areas of my life—even in the mundane.

I start chemo on Friday this week. I know some days will be harder than others, but I know I can get through it with God helping me. Your prayers are immensely appreciated.

BOOK EXCERPT: SEVENTH DIMENSION – THE PRESCIENCE: A Young Adult Fantasy, Chapter 1: “Sneak Peek.”

A LOUD EXPLOSION shook the ground as dust blew in my face.

“Run!” Daniel shouted.

Blinding light lit up the night sky. If only these were celebratory fireworks, but they weren’t.

I stared. My feet felt as if they were entombed in concrete. This couldn’t be happening—not now.

Daniel pulled on my hand. Seconds ticked by as I imagined my body being blown to bits. Sirens faded in and out. Swishing knives cut through the air, followed by rumbles. Each one got closer. Multiple alarms sounded as transformers blew across the city. I felt something burning and slapped my arm.

“Ashes!” Daniel exclaimed. “Hurry.”

I wiped off the soot. How could this be? My ears rang from the dinning across the deadly landscape. Were those people I saw in the distance? They looked like zombies.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. One minute we were celebrating our first kiss, and the next we were running for our lives. I brushed back my long dark brown hair with my fingers. Another missile whizzed by.

Daniel nudged me as grass sizzled underneath our feet. Minutes later, he found an enclosure that reminded me of a bus stop.

I struggled to catch my breath. “We’re going to die.”

Daniel’s brown eyes reassured me. “We’re in a bomb shelter.”

For the uninitiated like me, I never dreamed I would need one. We didn’t have such things in America.

“You’re shaking,” Daniel said. He wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t want to think I’d taken my last breath.

A thousand thoughts supplanted that one. Was my mother still alive? 

When I returned from time traveling to the first century as a young teenager, I never told her where I had been. She would have taken me to that psychologist who wrote that stupid report. The wretched principal would have expelled me.

Why couldn’t this attack have waited a few more days? Jesus told us to marry, but we had just returned to Jerusalem.

Daniel whispered in my ear, “I love you, Shale.”

I broke into sobs.

A dog barked.

I touched Daniel’s shoulder. “Did you hear it?”

Unperturbed by my unusual gift—after all he had his own—Daniel’s eyes met mine. “What did he say?”

Now the sirens drowned him out. I stepped toward the shelter entrance, but Daniel blocked me.

“I’m not going to let you rescue a dog.”

“The dog needs help for an injured child.”

Daniel stared. “No, can’t be.”

“We must go.”

“You stay here and let me check.”

“You don’t understand dog talk. I must go.”

Daniel grimaced. “Let’s hope he keeps barking. Watch your step. There could be unexploded bombs.”

The only light came from fires burning in the distance. Shadowy embers floated from the sky.

The dog barked again.

“What’s he saying?”

I translated. “Hurry.”

Straight ahead, a shadowy four-legged figure appeared that reminded me of my friend, Much-Afraid, who’d guided me back in time. She was now safely at home with my mother. The brown furry dog that resembled a border collie wagged his tail.

Another bomb screeched by. The boom nearly broke my eardrums.

The dog took a few steps back and lowered his head.

Then I saw two bodies. A small child was stroking a young woman with mangled hair. I stumbled over bloodied shoes.

“Mommy.”

I knelt beside the child. “Thank God, she’s alive.”

“Her mother and father aren’t,” the dog said. “She has no one. God sent me to find a rescuer.”

My vocal cords went dry as numbness filled my throat.

“I must go rescue others. Take care of Shira.”

“Wait.” I reached over and touched the dog’s head, focusing on his crusty eyes. “What do you mean?”

“You are the ones God called.”

“I understand animal speak, but I don’t know this poor child. What was her name again?”

“Shira,” the dog replied.

I tried to pick the child up, but she clung to her dead mother.

“Others need my help,” the dog said. Then he took off, disappearing into the darkness.

“We need to find her relatives,” Daniel said. He walked around to the other side and searched the pockets of her father. I looked for a cell phone.

Daniel shook his head. “Nothing,”

“Her name is Shira,” I whispered.

I stroked the child’s back and spoke in Hebrew. “Sweetie, come with me. Your mother and father are sleeping.”

The child turned and focused her eyes on me. After a brief hesitation, she lifted her arms. She was small and light—and couldn’t be more than three.

“Let’s get out of here,” Daniel said.

“Where should we go?”

“Jacob’s. He can help us find her relatives.”

When should I tell Daniel she had no relatives?

📕📕📕📕📕

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COVER REVEAL: SEVENTH DIMENSION: THE PRESCIENCE: A Young Adult Fantasy, Book 5

The Prescience - A Young Adult Fantasy

Book 5 in the Seventh Dimension Series!

As we near the Lord's return, I hope the witness of The Prescience will strike a nerve in those who have not accepted Yeshua as their Lord and Savior.

Shale and Daniel have returned from the demonic world of The City with plans to marry. When bombs fall on Jerusalem, the young couple rescues an orphan and returns to the first century. There they hope to uncover the truth concerning Daniel's father and the goal of the New World Order - to erase Shale's witness of the Messiah's first coming.

Amid supernatural tribulations, God reveals once again time is an illusion as Daniel races toward an apocalyptic future. A dystopian society ravaged by demons and evil leaders has replaced the world the couple left behind in 2017. Time is short before Armageddon when Daniel learns the pivotal role he plays in the Messiah's triumphant return and victory over the end time's beast and dragon.

To order from your favorite website, click here

INSPIRATIONAL REFLECTIONS ON GOD: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

I wonder if God looks back to His creation when it was untarnished by pollution, unblemished by famine and disease, and not scarred by the ravages of war. When unpolluted oceans bristled with life as He walked in the garden with Adam; when He created strange-looking creatures just for the sheer enjoyment of creating; when sunsets danced to colors our eyes cannot see and waterfalls beat to the pulse of His heart before we broke it; when rocks proclaimed His glory and flowers sang His praises; when life was found in everything and death did not exist; a world we have never known, at least not yet. A world that was and a world to come, joined by a tiny thread of love woven through the fabric of time. A remnant of His perfection is hidden in our DNA. The crust of earth beneath our feet gives hint to His creations from ages past. The stars that shine as angels in the night sky proclaim His lordship over every living creature. The winds that mount on eagles’ wings fill the earth with His spirit of redemption. Even the animals know. “Ask the animals and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you, or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind” (Job 12:7). God longs to live within our heart.  He shouts to us in our suffering.  At the crossroads of who we are and who God desires for us to become, we are either consumed by evil or we are conquered by love. If our sinful thoughts lose their grip, evil will lose its power.  Someday God will fill in all of those cracks. But during our time here, He wants to prepare us for a better place; a place where we will be perfect, even as He is perfect. God delights in the process of molding us. I take comfort in the fact that God wastes nothing and uses everything. Truly, no eye has seen or ear has heard what God has prepared for us. Our deepest hurts and failures will become God’s fertile soil for something far greater than we could ever have imagined. “...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us” (Romans 5:3-5).