THE STORY BEHIND REAR GUARD PUBLISHING: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

Shortly before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, during my quiet time, I had jotted down in my journal notebook Is 58:8 (New Living Translation):

“Then your salvation will come like the dawn

and your wounds will quickly heal

Your godliness will lead you forward

and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.

Another translation (New King James Version) renders it:

Then your light shall break forth like the morning,

Your healing shall spring forth speedily,

And your righteousness shall go before you;

The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

Today in my quiet time, I came across another passage alluding to God being our “rear guard.” I read in Isaiah 52:12 (King James Version):

For you shall not go out with haste,

Nor go by flight.’

For the Lord will go

Before you,

And the God of Israel will be your rear guard.

Back in 2017, when I stumbled upon those words in my journal, I was quite stunned by their prophetic implications.

I wrote them on the gray cardboard in the back of my journal so I could go back to the passage later. I didn’t know the significance of what I wrote when I wrote it, and I had no memory of writing it after my double mastectomy—or now.

I claimed that passage throughout my one-year cancer battle that included surgery, proton therapy, chemo infusions, and reconstruction. I found great comfort knowing that God, in my words, “had my back.” I didn’t need to worry, He was protecting me, my wounds would quickly heal, and my godliness would lead me forward.

I knew whatever godliness I had was from God, so my belief at the time was that God would give me more holiness because His glory would protect me. When you face a cancer diagnosis, especially one as daunting as mine, you want all the protection from your heavenly Father that He gives you.

I’m now a two-year cancer survivor. Two people who went through treatment at the same time as me are no longer with us. I struggled with that at first. Psychologists call it “survivor guilt,” until God said to me, “They finished the job I gave to them. You aren’t done.”

I’ve thought about that since wondering what God has for me in the future. I finished the six-book Seventh Dimension Series in June. God made it clear to me that was a priority, and I’ve written a creative nonfiction novelette that will be published later this year. I’ve submitted it to the Tapestry Word Weavers Awards, and I am waiting to see if I won. I haven’t ruled out the possibility of sending it to a traditional Christian publisher.

Recently, I did some editing for a prominent Australian pastor, and when he paid me through Paypal, he was surprised by my corporation name—Roberts Court Reporters. He wanted to make sure it was me. About the same time, my representative from Lightning Source, one of my two publishers, said I would have a better chance of getting my books into bookstores if I had a publishing house associated with my name.

When I hear comments like that from two sources within a few days of each other, I have to stop and think—is God telling me something?

As I write this, I’ve now officially changed my corporation name in the State of Florida to “Rear Guard Publishing.” At first, I knew I couldn’t use a name that someone else had already claimed. I didn’t want it to be overtly “Christian” as I didn’t know what direction God was leading me, and I didn’t want to limit myself to children, YA, adult, fiction, or nonfiction. 

Roberts Court Reporters didn’t meet my current situation at all. I let my licensure lapse about a year ago because I hadn’t taken a deposition in over twenty years, and it was another expense that served no purpose except to boost my ego. It only took me about five minutes to come up with the name as I remembered the quote God had given me in Isaiah 58:8.

Click to Tweet

http://bit.ly/LRBlogRearGuard Jeremiah says, “‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, “‘plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.’” (Jeremiah 29:11 New American Standard Bible).

Despite all the mistakes we make, God gives us “a future and a hope.” Even now, God is my Rear Guard, encouraging me to look ahead. Does God want me to write articles, write for the secular market, or ghostwrite? Should I continue to blog—which I love, or does God want me to focus on copyediting?  Or, should I keep on the steady course of broadcast captioning until a robot replaces me? I wait, expectantly, for God’s reply.

I’ve spent the last nine years writing books, and at times, the lack of sales has been discouraging. As a for-profit business, sooner or later, the IRS expects you to make a profit. Reflecting on that, I sometimes wonder, when does that intersection happen?  Perhaps it never will. Before I get too sad, I remind myself, “I write for an audience of one.” When I stand before God, He will examine how well I lived my life for Him, not how successful the world says I am.

One thing I know for sure: God has called me to write. I’m an author, and whatever form that takes, God has my back. He holds my future—just as He holds yours.

BREAST CANCER - GOD'S GOT MY BACK: Devotional by Lorilyn Roberts

Cedar Key 4-3-2017

Perhaps today I write my most difficult blog post. My oldest daughter would say I’m being too dramatic, too emotional, giving too much information, or giving too much of something. I’ve waited three months to write about my diagnosis because, first, I didn’t know what to say. Then I was too busy learning about things I never thought I would need to know. Then I got depressed and didn’t want to write anything.

In the middle of my emotional roller coaster ride, I was trying to finish The Prescience. I got to 91,000 words and realized, this can’t all fit into one book. I will have to break it up into two books. I probably set a record writing all those words in about six weeks. I was determined to finish it before my surgery in case I didn’t wake up. I thought at least some poor soul could edit and publish it.

I have since split up the manuscript into two books and am editing book 5, The Prescience.

To be candid, though, the number of doctors’ appointments has slowed me down. Last week I had five doctors’ appointments and two surgeries. Rather overwhelming. I told one doctor, “Cancer sucks.” In case you didn’t know this, cancer has a way of screwing up well-intentioned plans.

When I lay inside the MRI listening to it bang out disturbing dins as it took images, I recited the words from one of my favorite songs, “Jesus is coming back again.” As the minutes dragged on—I had to stay in a very uncomfortable position for a very long time—I shortened it to “Jesus is coming.” By the end of the longest thirty-plus minutes of my life, all I could say was “Jesus.”

That was back in the first week of January. Biopsies confirmed breast cancer. I’ll save the details for later, when I’m not facing the harshness of chemo followed by radiation.  How do you describe three months of nonstop medical treatment anyway? I still have a minimum of seven more months to go. Once the cancer treatment is finished, I’ll have six months off, and then the doctors can finish the reconstruction. I opted for a double mastectomy with implants.

My blog entries look rather empty for 2017. If you are receiving this as my quarterly email, you haven’t heard from me since October. I met my surgeon on the day Trump was inaugurated. 2017 will be known as the year I fought cancer.

Seriously, cancer is life changing. I’m thankful God is unchanging. In the midst of everything, He has been my rock and my anchor. My verse through all of this is Isaiah 58:8:  

Then your salvation will come like the dawn 

and your wounds will quickly heal. 

Your godliness will lead you forward 

and the joy of the Lord 

will protect you from behind.

I have no memory of writing that verse in the back of my note pad. I found it—just when I needed it. My translation is, “God has my back.”

What is God teaching me? That I have a long ways to go to be the person He wants me to be. Hebrews 12:5 is very helpful:

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement 
that addresses you as sons [and daughters],

My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

And do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

Because the Lord disciplines those he loves,

And he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.

Endure hardship as discipline.

God is treating you as sons…

Perhaps to some this might sound harsh, but to me, I'm reassured of God's love. While Satan wanted to discourage me and keep me from finishing the Seventh Dimension Series, I knew God was and is using my cancer diagnosis for good. He’s teaching me things I could not learn any other way. 

So I press on, facing months of treatment, knowing God has my back. I feel Jesus’ presence each day, meeting my felt needs through family, friends, and prayer warriors. Some of those praying I don’t know, but God knows them and hears them. 

I’m thankful for everyone who has brought food, sent notes, delivered flowers, called, emailed, and posted on my Facebook page. I honestly don’t know how anyone goes through cancer treatment or any other heartache without our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I’m thankful I have a good prognosis, but mostly I’m thankful God is with me. The reality is, all of us are mortal, and knowing Jesus is coming back is most reassuring. 

One book I found helpful is Don’t Waste Your Cancer by John Piper. There is more I could say, but I’ll save it for later. Please pray I won’t waste my cancer, I keep my eyes on Jesus, I don’t grow weary, and I glorify God through the very last day of treatment. I can tell you, I have not been who I could have been at times. I’m learning to live more humbly.

My focus when not dealing with cancer treatment has been to edit The Prescience. Book 6 doesn’t have a title yet, and – yes, I can’t believe it, but there will be a book 7. 

A little tease is in order—book 7 won’t be written from the point of view of Shale or Daniel. I’ll let you wonder from whose viewpoint it will be written.

I’m excited to be editing The Prescience even if it’s at a slower pace. Hopefully, my writing will be impacted in a positive way. I pray God will touch my emotional creativity to make my writing more heart-felt as Shale and Daniel battle an uncertain future that we will all be facing soon.

The most important thing for me right now is to stay close to God, love my family, value my friendships, and seek God’s will in all areas of my life—even in the mundane.

I start chemo on Friday this week. I know some days will be harder than others, but I know I can get through it with God helping me. Your prayers are immensely appreciated.